Like We Never Loved At All
by purplepagoda
Summary: Ziva comes clean to her partner about sleeping with Gibbs. What does this mean for everyone? Can Ziva deal with the consequences of her actions? Will Tony ever forgive her? Will she forgive herself? What if her mistake can't be fixed? Twisted TIVA?
1. It Matters To Me

She stares into the glass full of liquid, and ice cubes. Her partner slides into the seat, next to her. He orders himself a drink, and turns, to look at her. She continues to stare into her glass. She doesn't even look in his direction. She says nothing to him, not even to object to him being there. She hadn't been herself lately, and he had given her enough time, and space. Now she needed to spill. He clears his throat.

"What's with the long face?" he questions.

"Tony, not now."

"Can I ask you something?"

"I have never been able to stop you, no matter how hard I've tried," she responds.

"Why do you come to a bar, if you're never drink?"

"I drink."

"You've been here three nights in a row, and haven't had a drop of alcohol."

"Don't interrogate me," she warns, still staring into her glass.

"I'm not. I am trying to figure out what's wrong with you."

"Something has to be wrong with me, because I'm not drinking at a bar?"

"That's not what I meant."

"I don't have the patience to decipher what you mean, tonight, so if you want to ask something, then just ask it."

"Why don't you drink anymore? I haven't seen you drink in... I can't even remember how long it's been."

"I don't want to start down a slippery slope," she reveals, tracing circles around the rim of her glass.

"Ok, then why come to a bar? Three nights in a row? Something is on your mind."

"Was that a question?"

"A statement. What is on your mind? That was a question."

Finally she looks up at him. He notices the dark circles under her eyes. She looked tired, far more tired than she had in quite a while. There was something wrong, but getting her to tell him, that was not going to be easy. She hated sharing, even when she should.

"A lot of things."

"Like what?"

"Why are you here? You've followed me here, three nights in a row. Why?"

"I'm worried about you. The way you've been acting, I think that I have a reason to be."

"You do," she stares down her drink.

"Do you want to let me in, on the secret?"

"No."

"You know I'm not going anywhere, until you do."

"I know. Does it look like I have anywhere to be?"

"Ziva, this is me you're talking to. You can tell me anything."

"It's not what you think."

"It has nothing to do with Ray? Since you broke up, you've been pretty mope-y."

"It's not that."

"You're over him?"

"I didn't say that, I just said that's not it."

"Why do you come to a bar, if it's not to drink?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I just like it here."

"You don't want to be alone?" he guesses.

"Does it matter?"

"You don't have to be alone. You know I always have your back."

"Sometimes that's not enough."

"Why are you so down? Did something happen?"

She looks up, from the melting ice in her glass. She turns to him. His eyes lock on hers. She gives a subtle nod.

"So tell me about it," he begs.

"I've made some bad choices."

"We all make bad choices, sometimes."

"Not like this," she argues.

"How bad can it be? Ziva I'm sure whatever it is, it can be fixed."

She shakes her head, "No, it can't."

"It can't be that bad," he argues.

"You have no idea."

"What did you do? What happened?"

"I... I made a mistake."

"Ziva, we all make mistakes."

"This is different."

"Did you kill someone?"

"No, it's not that," she shakes her head.

"So why do you look so, damn, guilty?"

"It's worse."

"Worse? How could it possibly be worse?"

"I can't take it back."

"Do you want to take it back?"

"I... I don't know. I just know... it's not supposed to be like this."

"Be like what? What did you do?"

"I ruined it."

"Ruined it? Ruined what?"

"Everything. I feel like everything is about to come tumbling down around me."

"I can't imagine what you've done that could be that bad."

"You wouldn't be able to imagine this."

"So just tell me. What did you do? Whatever it is, I'll help you, fix it."

"Tony, you can't fix it. I can't fix it. There is no fixing it."

"I don't know anything, that can't be fixed."

"This can't. I made a monumental mistake. I don't think that I have ever used such bad judgment, in my entire life."

"Ziva just tell me, what happened? Did you crash the car again?"

She almost smiles, "No that can be fixed."

"You broke probie's computer?"

"No."

"You spit in my coffee?"

She grins, "More than once."

"I hope that you're joking."

"You'll never know," she answers, and the smile quickly disappears from her face.

"What did you do? Just tell me. I won't judge you. I am sure that it can't be that bad. I mean look at some of the stupid things that I've done. I'm sure whatever it is, pales in comparison."

She shakes her head, "You're wrong."

"Ziva..."

"I slept with Gibbs," she reveals.

He looks at her, completely dumbfounded. She swallows hard, knowing that his speechlessness was not a good sign. She stares at her drink, afraid to tell him the whole story. She returns her eye contact to him, and finds that all color has drained from his face. His mouth is agape, as if he wants to say something, but no sound comes out.


	2. This Is Me You're Talking To

Finally he is able to choke back any judgment. He takes a deep breath, knowing, that right now, she just needed him to be a friend. She needed him to listen, and tell her that it would all be alright. He tosses aside his curiosities, and chokes back a joke, and some stupid questions. Words finally tumble from his lips.

"Ok."

"Ok? I just dropped a bomb, and all you can say, is ok?"

"I don't want to say the wrong thing."

"I need you to say something, other than ok."

"How do you feel about it?"

"You're really asking that? I feel terrible about it."

"Why?"

"He's our boss, for starters."

"And?"

"It never should have happened."

"It takes two."

"That isn't the point."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me how stupid I was. Lecture me, on how he's my boss, and I completely blew everything that I've worked for the past five and a half years. Tell me that..."

"I'm not going to tell you that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't know the whole story. What happened?"

"Does it really matter what happened?"

"How did it happen?"

"Why does it matter? The what, and the how, aren't important. The important thing is that it did, and it never should have."

"Humor me."

_April 8th, _

_She stops, at the bottom stair. She watches in silent, for several moments, as he sands. He doesn't turn around, he keeps sanding._

_"If you're going to be down here you need to make yourself useful," he tells her._

_"Do you want me to sand, or pour?" she asks._

_He turns, to look at her. He smiles, "I think you should pour," he puts down his sandpaper. He goes over to the workbench, and finds them some glasses. He pours himself one, and then one for her. He hands one to her. She drinks it, without saying a word._

_"Now are you going to talk?"_

_"About what?"_

_"I assume that there is something on your mind, for you to be here."_

_"How do I always manage to screw it up? Or do I just pick losers? I don't know, anymore."_

_He pours another round. They both drink, and he pours again._

_"I can't answer that."_

_"Why not?"_

_"You're the one who has to answer that."_

_"I just want to have someone that I can trust, just once."_

_"What about your partner?"_

_"That's not what I meant. He's not..."_

_"Right," he nods, "because of the rules?"_

_"No," she shakes her head, "because I don't want to ruin that relationship, too."_

_"Ziva..."_

_"I just want..."_

_"What? What do you want?"_

_"Something simple."_

_"All I can offer, is another drink," he replies._

_She nods, and allows him to pour her another. _

_Later she finds herself, wobbling towards the stairs. He starts after her. She nearly trips up the stairs. _

_"Whoa. Do you need some help?"_

_"No, I'm fine," she argues. He follows her up the stairs. She heads for the door._

_"Ziva, I don't think you should go home."_

_"I can't stay here."_

_"I think that you should. You shouldn't be driving," he argues._

_She opens the door. He closes it in front of her. She spins around, with her car keys in her hand. He takes them from her, and tosses them on the floor. She looks at him in contempt. He takes a step closer to her. He points to the living room._

_"You can sleep on the couch. You can wait until the morning to go home."_

_"Gibbs..."_

_She takes a step closer. He stares her down, knowing that she hated taking orders. She had never been able to do it, without question. She wanted out of the situation, and he knew she was going to try to find a way out. He doesn't expect what happens next._

_"No," she answers._

_"Ziva, it's not a request."_

_She takes a step closer. She looks into his eyes. She can smell the booze on his breath, or maybe it was hers, at this point it was hard to tell. She didn't want to stay. She was tired of being told what to do. She makes an impulsive decision. There was only one way she knew to control a man. The fact that he wasn't just any man, didn't matter, right now. She kisses him. _

She stops, and looks at her partner. She gauges the expression on his face. He touches the back of her hand.

"Go on," he insists.

She skips some scenes in her head. The x-rated scenes, that she didn't need to recount in detail, to her partner. Not that what was appropriate, or professional really mattered, anymore. She had thrown that all out the window.

_April 9th-0426_

_Her eyes pop open. She looks at the clock, on the bedside stand next to her. She reads the time, and quickly realizes that she isn't looking at her clock. She takes a deep breath, and rolls over. She stares at her boss, asleep, in the bed next to her. She feels the panic set in. She slides out from under the covers. She quietly follows her trail of clothing down the stairs. She slips her shoes on, and grabs her keys off the floor. She slips out the front door, closing the door behind her. _

_She races to her car. She slides into the drivers seat, and turns on the engine. The radio blasts. She quickly turns it off, too hungover to deal with the noise. She puts the car into drive, and pulls on her seatbelt, as an afterthought. She races down the street, barely stopping at the stop sign. She races towards her apartment, wanting to get away from there, as fast as possible. The fifteen minute drive takes her four._


	3. How Was I To Know

"So what does it mean?"

"I screwed up. Gibbs can barely even look at me now."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes, it was. It was my fault. I never should have gone there in the first place."

"So it's going to be awkward for a little while, it's not that big of a deal."

"You're kidding right? It's a big deal. It's a huge deal. I..."

"It could be worse."

"No, it couldn't," she argues.

"Sure it could. It could always be worse."

"How could it be worse? I can't imagine how it could possibly be any worse."

"Someone could have seen the two of you."

"That makes me feel so much better."

"Or... you could be pregnant. That would be worse. Can you imagine how awkward that would be? That's a conversation I'd like to see, you telling Gibbs, that you're having his love child," he jokes, expecting a smile from her.

She doesn't smile. She stares at him. He notices all of the color drain from her face. He locks eyes with her.

"You're not pregnant, are you? Who am I kidding? Of course you're not. I'm sure you're not. You don't think that you are, do you?"

"No."

"See, it could be worse."

She shakes her head, "I already know that I am."

"What? You can't be serious."

She doesn't smile, or laugh. She just stares at him, with the look of fear, in her eyes. He motions for the bartender. The bartender brings him another drink. He swallows it in one drink. He slams it on the bar. He looks at her.

"That's why you're drinking ginger ale?"

"Not at first. At first it was because I didn't want to do anything else, stupid."

"How long have you known?"

"Two weeks."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"Why would you want to know? It's not something that comes up in casual conversation."

"You should have told me."

"Why?"

"At the very least, just to get it off your chest. Does anyone else know?"

"No, no one knows. You can't tell anyone, either."

"I wouldn't tell anyone. If you want them to know, you're the one who should tell them."

"I don't want to tell anyone."

"Why are you telling me?"

"I had to tell someone. I..."

"You're freaking out?"

She nods.

"What can I do for you?"

"Nothing."

"Are you sure? You can talk to me. I'm not the greatest listener, but I try hard."

"What am I supposed to do?"

"Who cares?"

She gives him a questioning look.

"I mean, who cares what you are supposed to do. You need to do what you want to do. What do you want to do?"

"I... how am I supposed to make a decision, like that?"

"You're probably not going to want to hear this, but I think that you've already made a decision."

"I think that I would know, if I had made a decision."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"That's why you're sitting here, at a bar? Drinking ginger ale? Agonizing over what to do?"

"I..."

"You've known for two weeks. That is plenty of time, to do something."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying that I don't think you want to do anything, because if you did, it would already be done. If that's what you really wanted, we wouldn't be sitting here, talking about it. You wouldn't tell me about it, at all. You wouldn't be sitting here, expecting my advice."

"I..."

"You want me to tell you the truth, or what you want to hear?"

"The truth."

"You always expect the truth from me."

"Why should now be any different?"

"Because this is life changing."

"Tony... please."

"It's your choice. You can do anything you want."

"But?"

"Is that what you want?"

"I...I want to do what's right."

"For who?"

"For me. I'm the one who has to live with it."

"Can I make a suggestion?"

"Mmhm."

"Take the other part of the equation away. Then what do you want? If it wasn't so complicated, what would your decision be?"

"I don't want to tell him."

"You can't keep it from him."

"Why not?"

"It's wrong."

"But..."

"I think it would be ok, to wait, to tell him."

"You do?"

"I mean things happen. You should know for sure, that everything is going to be ok, before you tell him."

"What if he finds out?"

"Tell him the truth."

"I don't know if I can do this."

"You don't have to," he reminds her.

"But I want to."

"You're sure?"

"Yes. I don't know why. It's completely ridiculous. This shouldn't be happening, not like this. I can't explain it..."

"But you want this?"

"Is that wrong?"

"No."

"But I..."

"You screwed up. I'm not going to deny that. You really, really screwed up, but..." he trails off.

"But what?"

"Loving your future child, there's nothing wrong with that. I would be more concerned, if you didn't."


	4. Too Late To Worry

"I think that you should get home."

"Is it past my bedtime? I guess that it is ten o'clock," she scoffs, looking at her watch.

"What I meant was, I would like to take you home."

"Why?"

"Because I think that I should."

"Why? I am not an invalid. I am perfectly capable of making it home, on my own."

"I know that."

"Then why are you offering?"

"Because I don't think that you really want to be alone right now. I think that you have been alone with this, for long enough. Tonight, you need a friend."

"The last time I needed a friend..."

He cuts her off, "What's the worst that could happen? You're already pregnant," he jokes.

"Do you ever consider that you should filter some things out, before you speak?"

"The thought has crossed my mind."

"And?"

"It seems like too much effort."

She gets up from her seat at the bar.

"Where are you going?" he spins around in his seat, in her direction.

"I thought that we were leaving."

"I don't know if I was done drinking yet, or not."

"You can drink at my place."

"Then how will I get home?"

"You can stay with me."

"Where? On your couch?"

She rolls her eyes, "Are you coming, or not?"

An hour later he stares at her, as she stares at the TV set. She doesn't look at him.

"Why are you staring at me?" Ziva questions.

"Sorry."

"I don't want an apology. I want an explanation."

"Sometimes I wish that things were easier."

She pushes pause with the remote. She places the remote on the coffee table, in front of her, and turns to face him.

"Easier how?"

"Less complicated. Why does everything have to be so complicated?"

"You're asking me? I slept with Gibbs. I slept with him, and now I am having his baby."

"Are you sure?"

"We've been over this. I am sure that I am pregnant."

"No, I meant are you sure that it's his."

"Yes."

"A hundred percent."

"Of course."

"There's no way that you could be off? Maybe you..."

"My math is not off. There are no other possibilities that are even remotely near the time frame."

"Ziva?"

"Huh?"

"Would you tell me?"

"I did tell you."

He furrows his brow, and shakes his head, "If it was me, instead of Gibbs, would you tell me?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"It would still be complicated, just not as complicated."

"I would tell you, eventually."

"Are you going to tell Gibbs?"

"Which part? That I'm pregnant?"

"That it's his."

"No."

"You can't keep that from him. He's going to figure it out."

"I don't... it isn't fair. I don't want him to know."

"Ziva?"

"What?"

"Why haven't we ever slept together?"

"I... you're my partner."

"He's your boss. Do you find me that repulsive?"

"No."

"So..."

"I don't want to ruin our partnership."

"He's your boss," he adds.

"I know. I made a mistake."

"Why Gibbs? I mean it could have just as easily been me."

"It was, almost."

"What?"

"I didn't know if she would be at your place, so I thought that it would be better to go to Gibbs."

"Oh."

"You seem disappointed. Are you disappointed? You do realize that I am pregnant, right?"

"I know."

"You still sound disappointed."

"Maybe, I am."

"Why would you be disappointed? You should be relieved."

"It's stupid, don't worry about it."

"Just tell me, I'm sure that it's not stupid."

"You just want to hear the reason."

"Yes, tell me."

"It was a dream that I had."

"A dream?"

"The first time I met you."

"What do you mean?"

"When everything with Kate, and Ari was going on. It was the strangest dream."

"About what?"

"I dreamt that we had a kid."

"You didn't even know me."

"I know, but I can still see her face, as plain as day."

"So are you going to tell me about the dream, or not?"

* * *

><p><em>AN: I would love to hear your feedback. How do you want this to turn out? I have an idea of how I want it to turn out, but I am open to suggestions. _


	5. You've Got A Way

"I dreamt that we had a little girl. I don't know why. It was completely random. I..."

"What did she look like?"

"You. She looked like you, with my eyes."

"Tony?"

"Do you think that I am making a mistake?"

"I think that you already made one. A big one. Of all the people in the world, he was the worst option you could have chosen. Ok, maybe not the worst option, but not far from it."

"You're jealous?" she guesses.

"Of what?"

"That I slept with him?"

"It's not like I want to sleep with him," he scoffs.

"I meant, instead of you."

"Why would I be jealous?"

"I need you to just be honest with me right now. I am too tired, and too confused to play games with you, right now."

"Yes, I'm jealous."

"Why? Why would you be jealous."

"I guess I kind of feel betrayed."

"Why would you feel betrayed? I don't understand."

"You wouldn't understand."

"How am I ever going to understand, when you clam up every single time we start talking about feelings?"

"I'm sorry. I just... I wish that you had chosen differently," he admits.

"You don't want me to have the baby?"

"I never said that."

"You didn't have to."

"It isn't that I don't want you to have the baby," he leads in.

"Then what is it?"

"I just don't want you to have _his_ baby."

"What difference does it make, whose baby it is?"

"It ruins everything."

She shoots him a look, "That is a terrible thing to say."

"It's true. It ruins everything."

"You think that it's going to ruin my life?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what do you mean, it's going to ruin everything?"

"You having a baby, that changes things. You having a Gibbs' baby, that changes everything."

"It's my baby," she corrects him.

"Gibbs is the father."

"Why do you care? Is it because you don't want to be in the middle of it? Is it because it will makes things awkward at work? Why do you care so much? It's my mistake. I don't see why it's any business of yours, who I have a baby with."

"If you have his baby, it takes away the possibility that..." he trails off.

"That what?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"I hate when you do that. You start something and then you never finish it."

"Isn't that the story of my life?"

"Just say whatever it is that is on your mind. Why can't you do that, for me? I know you better than anyone. You don't have to protect me. You don't have to worry about offending me, I think that we're past that," she growls.

"If you have Gibbs' baby you're always going to be tied to him, whether you like it or not."

"Whether you like it, or not," she corrects.

"My point is," his tone changes to a softer one, "you having his baby, means that there is never going to be a chance for us to be anything more than partners."

She furrows her brow, "I wasn't aware that you wanted to be anything more than partners."

"I always had that option, now I don't."

"Why do you want that option?"

"Because you're the only person in the world who gets me. Other people try, but you get me. You're complicated, and messy, but... I know what you're thinking, sometimes, even before you do. We've spent so much time together. We've been through so much. I guess I just thought I'd always have you to myself."

"You're jealous of the baby?"

"No. I'm not. I just wish you had chosen differently."

"Chosen you?"

"Yes."

"It wasn't a conscious decision. It just happened."

"It should have been me. Of all the people in the world for you to go to, for comfort, it should have been me. I feel like you don't trust me, not like you used to."

"That isn't it, at all."

"So then what is it?"

"You have been there for me enough. You can't always be my shoulder to cry on."

"You usually don't cry," he points out.

"It isn't your burden, to take on my problems."

"It's not a burden, and... I want to."

"Because I'm your partner?"

"No."

"No?"

"Do you have a list of qualifications that you are looking for in a man?"

"I suppose so, why?"

"I have a list of qualifications, for a woman."

"What is your point?"

"You're the only person who has ever met all of them. I'm afraid that..." he stops.

She looks into his eyes, searching for an answer. He stares back at her, wondering if she's ready to know the truth. She exhales and gives him a look that tells him to go ahead.

"I'm afraid that I'm going to lose you."

"Lose me? How?"

"To someone else. I'm afraid that I missed my opportunity."

"What opportunity?"

"To change things. To ever be more than partners."

"Tony? Who is going to take me away from you?"

"You're having Gibbs baby," he reminds her.

She smiles, "I have no romantic interest in Gibbs. He's not going to take me away from you, ever."

"Yeah, but you don't have any romantic interest in me, either."

"How would you know?"

"What is the real reason you didn't call me, that night?" he inquires.


	6. Breathe

"Because I knew what would happen. I know that when I am emotional, I sometimes have very poor impulse control."

"You wanted to hit me?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"What, then?"

"I didn't want to be alone."

He looks at her, in confusion. She says nothing more, allowing a moment for her words to sink in.

"Oh."

"I was certain going to Gibbs was a better option, because I am not attracted to him. He's like my..." she trails off, cringing at the thought.

"You're father. So you were sure that nothing could happen?"

"I knew if I saw you... something would happen. I know that I can count on you, for anything. I knew if that's what I needed, you would agree. And, I couldn't ask that of you. I didn't want to complicate things. I didn't want you to wonder. I couldn't handle losing you, as a partner, or a friend."

"You definitely complicated things."

"Maybe I shouldn't do this. Maybe it's wrong to do this. I mean Gibbs is like a father to me. No one in their right mind would have a child with their father."

"He's not your father. There is no genetic relationship there. It's not incest."

"No, it just feels like it."

"If you aren't going to go through with it, you need to talk to Gibbs."

"Why does it matter?"

"Because if you he finds out, he'll kill you."

"It's not his choice."

"It doesn't matter."

"Tell me you're opinion. Not what you think I am going to do, what you think I should do."

"You should do whatever you want."

"That isn't the answer I'm looking for."

"I don't know. I know I don't want you to have a baby with Gibbs."

"You don't think I should have it?"

"I think that you would regret it, if you didn't. I know you would regret it."

"But..."

He presses his finger to her lips, "No, but."

She exhales. His hand falls into his lap. She looks at him. He recognizes the look in her eyes. He leans forwards, and wraps his arms around her.

"It's ok," he tells her. He feels her shake her head.

"Yes, it is," he argues.

She relaxes, resting her chin against his shoulder. The tears begin to fall. After several moments she lets go, and wipes the tears from her face. She looks at him, with a red, tear-stained face.

"How on earth am I supposed to do this? I don't even know where to start."

He smiles, "At the beginning."

"I don't know where that is."

"That's ok. I'll help you find it."

"Abby!"

"Abby? What about her?"

"How am I going to keep her from finding out? If she finds out she'll ask me a million questions. There is no way I can lie to her. I mean, I could, but I wouldn't feel right about it. If she finds out, she'll tell Gibbs. It won't be intentional, but she can't help herself. If Gibbs finds out from her, he'll kill me, and..." she rambles.

He cuts her off, "Why don't you wait until you see your doctor, before you worry about that? Make sure that everything is ok, first."

"Vance is going to put me on desk duty. I can't do desk duty, I'll go crazy."

"I'm sure something can be worked out."

"What am I supposed to say?"

"To who? About what?"

"To anyone, about this?"

"I can't tell you that."

"What if, one day, in the future this child asks if it was a mistake? What am I supposed to say then? A child shouldn't be considered a mistake."

"Sometimes the biggest mistakes that we make give us the greatest gifts that we could ever have."

She looks at him, in silence. He smiles at her.

"You say that sleeping with Gibbs was a mistake, but they are not a mistake. Lie, if you have to."

"It wouldn't be a lie."

"It wouldn't? I mean you're having a baby. You're going to have a child, and you are completely unprepared. You were totally blind-sided by this. You didn't ask for this."

"No, I didn't."

"Why are you going through with this?"

"Honestly?" she asks. He nods. "I don't know," she admits.

"There has to be a reason."

"I know that someday I want this. I want a child. I didn't expect it to be now. I didn't expect it to happen this way. It's the wrong time, with the wrong person. The circumstances are horrible, but for some, unknown reason, I still want to do it."

"I'm not the only dreamer, am I?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're doing this, because you see a face, aren't you? A tiny innocent face, that you have been waiting a lifetime to meet. The face of someone who is yours, who belongs to you, forever. The face of someone that can never be taken away from you."

"Yes."

"It's ok to be scared, you know?"

"I..."

"You're not alone. You know that right? No matter what, you're never alone. I've always got your back."

"This is different."

"Yeah, I know."

"I am...scared out of my mind," she says on the verge of tears.

"That's ok."

"No, it's not. No matter how this works out, the bottom line is that I am going to be a single mom. I am going to be doing this on my own, in some way, shape, or form."

He stops her, "Yeah, but you don't have to."


	7. Down On My Knees

"What do you suggest that I do? Move in with Gibbs, and pretend to be a big happy family?"

"No, that never works. You have to find someone that you want to be with."

"That shouldn't be a problem... oh wait, I'm pregnant. Tony how am I going to find someone like that, pregnant? I have a hard enough time without being pregnant. No one is going to want to be with me. I'll never make it to a second date. How would that even go? I introduce myself, and go, 'Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant, with my bosses baby?'."

"I wouldn't do that."

"So explain to me how I don't have to do this alone?"

"I'll help you."

"You'll help me? You don't even like kids."

"It would be different."

"How?"

"Cause it would be your kid."

"Still it's not like you're going to..."

He cuts her off, "But I could."

"Why would you want to?"

"I would do anything for you."

"You're my partner, that would be crossing a line."

"Who cares about crossing lines? I think it's a little too late for that, now."

"Do you want to cross that line?"

"I wouldn't mind," he admits.

"You would be willing to..."

He cuts her off, "Yes."

"I didn't even finish."

"You don't have to."

"But I am going to have a baby. I am having Gibbs' baby. I..." she starts breathing rapidly.

"Slow down. Calm down. I know this is crazy. I know that you feel like everything is crashing down around you, but we'll get through this. We always do."

"What if I tear the team apart? What if what I did tears our team apart? I don't think I could live with that."

"That's not going to happen."

"You don't know that. Mistakes were made, people are going to take sides."

"Well I'm on team Ziva."

"But you're on Gibbs' team. If you have to choose... you shouldn't have to. Maybe I should just take myself out of the equation."

"What are you talking about?"

"I think that I should leave NCIS."

"And do what, exactly?"

She shrugs, "I don't know."

"You can't go back to being an assassin."

"I..."

"You're having a baby," he reminds her.

"I would do whatever I had to."

"Ziva?"

"Huh?"

"It's late, you should get some sleep," he suggests.

"Ok."

"I'm going to stay on your couch, if that's ok."

"Of course, it is."

"Good night," he smiles.

She climbs out of bed the next morning, and shuffles past the bed. She yawns as she reaches the doorway. She steps into the living room. Much to her surprise she finds her partner sitting on her couch, wide awake.

"You're still here?"

"You would have preferred that I slipped out while you were sleeping?"  
>"No I'm just surprised. Why are you awake? You know that it's only six thirty."<p>

"Is this sleeping in for you?"

"Yes," she admits.

"Should I make coffee?"

"You can, if you want some."

"You don't want any?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Why not?"

She shoots him a look.

"What? It's not like you can't have any."

"I know."

"So what's with the look?"

"I just can't stand the taste of it, right now."

"You're kidding right?"

"No."

"Then can I make you some tea?"

"No."

"No? Why not? You don't want any?"

"No."

"Ok. What do you want?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing? Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

"Sick?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm fine."

"You're not feeling sick?"

"No."

"You're not just saying that?"

"No. I'm fine."

"You don't have morning sickness?"

"No."

"So..."

"So what?"

"What made you think that you were pregnant?"

"Nothing. There weren't any tell-tale signs."

"So how did you find out?"


	8. You're Gonna Be

"I donated blood."

"Huh?"

"They wouldn't let me donate, because they said that I was anemic."

"So you thought that you were pregnant?"

"No," she shakes her head, "they recommended that I go to see a doctor."

"And you listened?"

"I didn't want to, but... I haven't seen a doctor in... a long time. I didn't think it could hurt."

"And he told you that you were pregnant?"

"He drew my blood, and told me that he would call me the next day with the results."

"And?"

"He did. He confirmed that I was anemic. He told me that he wanted me to come in, because he had something he wanted to discuss with me. I told him that I didn't have the time, to just tell me over the phone."

"He didn't want to?"

"He thought we should talk in person."

"You disagreed," he guesses.

She nods, "And finally he told me."

"What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything."

"Why not?"

"I was at work. I couldn't do anything."

"You found out at work?"

"Yes."

"How did you keep it together?"

"It didn't really hit me, until I got home," she admits.

"It felt surreal?" he guesses.

"It still feels surreal. To be perfectly honest, I'm still not sure that it has sunk in. It seems like someone else's life, someone else's mistake. It's hard to believe, I guess."

"Why?"

"Right now it's just an idea. At some point it's going to be more than that. It's going to be real."

"I don't understand."

"Nothing is really different."

"You're pregnant."

"Know one else knows that, but you. I mean, it isn't like people can look at me and tell. I don't look any different. I don't feel any different. But I am. I have something growing inside of me, and..." she trails off.

"And?"

"It kind of freaks me out."

"Why?"

"Because soon things will change. People will know. I will be able to tell a difference. I..."

"Why are you so afraid? Are you afraid of giving birth?"

"No."

"What do you have to be afraid of?"

"I am afraid that I'm going to do it wrong."

"Do what wrong?"

"Everything. I don't know what I'm doing. What if I get shot? What if..."

"Ziva, don't play the what if game."

"I have to. What if I'm not good enough?"

"Good enough for what?"

"This baby."

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"I don't know how to be selfless. My whole life I have put myself, and my wants ahead of everything else. I put myself into dangerous situations. I don't know how to change that. I don't know if I can, or even if I want to."

"You're afraid that if you give too much up, you'll end up resenting the baby?"

"I don't want to lose myself."

"You can't be found, without being lost first."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"You don't know?"

"I think everything is going to work out."

"That's reassuring."

"Ziva everything will work out."

"You are just saying that. You don't know that."

"No, but I know you."

"I am not sure what your point is."

"You're tough, and you try not to feel things, but this is something you have to feel. That scares you. You're afraid to put your heart on the line, again, because it's been stomped on so many times. You hate when you're not in control. You hate when things change, and you aren't ready. I know you're not ready. I know you're scared. I know that you're confused, and that's ok. Because you're going to be great."

"What if I'm not? What if I lose control? What if I get through all of this, and decide that I want to start over?"

"You can't go back."

"But what if I want to?"

"You won't."

"I..."

"You don't want to be an assassin. You never wanted that."

"No, but I was good at it. I was good at it, and... I don't know that I will be good at this."

"Then quit," he offers.

She looks at him. A light bulb goes off in her head.

"That isn't an option?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Ziva you either do this, or not. It's up to you."

"I'm tired of this."

"Of what?"

"Doing this alone."

"I'm right here."

"But..."

"You made a bad decision, but I'm still behind you. I don't always agree with what you do, but I'll always help you through."

"What if you can't help me?"

"I'll find someone who can."

"How can I even think of bringing a child into the world like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"I am damaged goods."

"So is the rest of the world's population."

"I don't know how to fix me. How can I possibly raise a child, to be a normal, healthy, human being?"

"That's what you have to figure out along the way."


	9. Blue

Weeks pass, and Tony manages to keep his mouth shut. He doesn't talk about it. He doesn't ask questions. He just shoots her looks sometimes. She nods that she's ok, and they continue with their work.

She looks at her watch. She sighs. She should be at work by now, but she was here, instead. There is a knock on the door, and a doctor, and nurse come into the room. She only hears about half of what they're saying.

The words, "Ok, let's take a look at your baby," catch her attention.

She looks up, and nods in agreement. She turns towards the screen to the right of her. She watches in silence. Half an hour later she arrives at the Navy Yard.

DiNozzo is the first to notice her walk into the room. He smiles.

"How was your dentist appointment?"

"Great, no cavities."

"That's great, because we've got work to do," Gibbs answers as he steps into the squad room. "McGee you're with me. DiNozzo I need you to go through the victims employment records, and his aliases too."

"Yes boss," Tony agrees.

"Ziva, go see what Abby has for us."

"Ok," she agrees.

She waits. She allows McGee, and Gibbs to get onto the elevator before she moves. The doors of the elevator close, and she turns around, to look at her partner. She finds him standing right in front of her desk. He smiles at her, like a Cheshire cat.

"So how was your appointment?"

"Fine."

"So..."

She grabs her bag, and pulls out a picture. She shows it to him. He looks at it for a moment, and furrows his brow.

"That's it?"

She looks at the picture, "You have it upside down," she tells him.

He flips it right-side up. "Oh, that makes more sense," he hands it back to her. She puts it back into her bag.

"Is there something else, or are you just standing here, because the lighting is better?"

"Are you going to tell Gibbs?"

"Yes."

"When?"

"Soon."

"Soon as in, maybe in a couple of months, when it's obvious to the whole world, or soon, as in, yeah maybe later today?"

"I haven't decided yet."

"The clock is ticking."

"Not that fast. I've got thirty weeks."

"Thirty? How many down so far?"

"Nine."

"That's it?"

"Yes."

"It's going to be a long thirty weeks."

"Probably, but it will be even longer if we don't get our work done."

"Right," he nods.

She begins to walk away. "Where are you going?" he questions.

"To see Abby."

"Right," he nods.

Moments later she finds herself stepping into Abby's lab. Abby spins around, and looks at her.

"I don't have anything for you, yet."

"Ok. I can go help Tony, then."

"Wait, a second."

"What?"

"We need to talk."

"About what?"

Abby grabs a remote, and the door in, and out of the lab closes, and locks.

"When did you install that?"

"Not the point, Ziva."

"Why did you lock the door?"

"So you can't get away."

"Why would I want to get away?"

"Because I am going to make you talk."

"About what, exactly?"

"Why you've been acting so strange lately."

"I haven't been acting strange lately."

"Yes you have."

"Strange how?"

"Just different."

"Why does it matter?"

"I'm concerned about you."

"There is nothing to be concerned about."

"Oh, really?"

"Abby do you have a question to ask, or an accusation to make?"

"When are you planning on telling me?"

"Telling you what?"

"That you're pregnant."

Ziva sputters, "Excuse me?"

"I thought that I was pretty clear. When are you planning on telling me? I want to pretend to be surprised."

"I..."

"You are pregnant, aren't you?"

"I..."

"I suppose you want me to tell you how I knew."

"I..."

"Don't worry Tony didn't tell me, even though it's obvious that he knows. You gave yourself away, really."

"I gave myself away?"

"You keep crossing your arms."

"So?"

"Not over your chest, like a normal person. You keep crossing them over your stomach, like you're hiding something. Which at first I didn't understand. I mean what would you want to hide, but then I realized there's only one thing."

"I don't know what to say."

"When we're you planning on telling me?"

"When I had to."

"Which is, when?"

"When it was obvious enough for you to ask about it."

"Well it's obvious enough for me to ask about it."

"I didn't think you would figure out so soon."

"I get the feeling that there is a reason you're hiding it, would I be right?"

"Are you ever wrong?"

"On rare occasions."

"I am just not ready to tell people, yet."

"Because it's early?"

"That is part of it."

"And the other part?"

"I cant' tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because you won't be able to keep it a secret."

"I am hurt by that."

"Abby, it's true."

"Maybe, but it still hurts."

"Abby, I can't tell you."

"Why not?'

"I don't want you to tell anyone."

"Like who?"

"I am just not ready for anyone else to know."

"Ziva what is going on? I don't understand. Are you happy about it? I mean..."

"I don't know. I am still wrapping my head around all of it. It was..."

"Unplanned."

"To say the least. I'm not really ready to talk about it, yet."

"That's why you didn't want to tell me?"

She nods.

"You were afraid I would tell someone?"

"Yes."


	10. Bring On The Rain

"Like who? The only person I can't keep secrets from is Gibbs. Wait, why wouldn't you want Gibbs to know? I mean you're going to have to tell him eventually. I mean I get that you would want to tell him, instead of him hearing it from me but..." she stops mid-sentence, and locks eyes with Ziva. She continues, "You don't want him to know, because you don't want his to know who the father is. You don't want him to know, because it's someone on the team? Obviously it's not Ducky. You told Tony, so it's not him. If it were him, you wouldn't tell him."

"I tell him lots of things."

"But you wouldn't tell him, not if it was his. He would be too freaked out. He's not at all freaked out, but you are. Which means that it's bad, because you never freak out," she rambles, "Vance is definitely out. McGee, well that would be awkward, but I don't really see that happening." She stops.

"Why did you stop?"

"Because it only leaves one person. If it's him... I shouldn't know. You're right. You should tell him. It's not my place to tell him. That is up to you. You are going to tell him, aren't you?"

"Of course I am going to tell him, that I'm pregnant. I can't keep that from him."

"But are you going to tell him that it's his?"

"I haven't really decided yet."

"He'll find out."

"I don't doubt it."

"But you still don't want to tell him?"

"I just don't know how. I made a mistake."

"I don't understand. How did something like that happen? I..."

"It was... it was a mistake."

"You said that. I want to know how it happened."

"Why does it matter?"

"Clearly it matters."

"The how doesn't really matter, Abby."

"If it were a murder you would have difference stance."

"I went to his house."

"When?"

"After I broke up with Ray."

"Why would you go to Gibbs? Why didn't you go to Tony?"

"First of all, I didn't want him to know that he was right. It goes to his head."

"That isn't a very good reason."

"And I was afraid that..." she trails off.

"You were afraid of?"

"I was afraid that I would do something stupid."

"Like what? What were you afraid of."

"I was afraid that... you wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I was upset, and..."

"You thought that if he was your shoulder to cry on, one thing could lead to another, and you didn't want that to happen?"

"Right."

"Has it ever happened, before?"

"No."

"Then why were you afraid that it would?"

"I..." she stops.

"Because you want it to?"

She nods, "And I know I shouldn't."

"So you went to Gibbs?"

"Because I knew nothing would happen, but I was wrong. And now... I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do? I don't know if I should tell him, or not. He can barely stand to be in the same room with me right now. It never should have happened."

"How did it happen?"

"I had too much to drink. He didn't want me to drive. He told me to stay on his couch, and I refused."

"How does that translate into sex?"

"Because I wanted out of the situation. I panicked, I thought that if I kissed him, that he would back off, and let me go."

"That seems..."

"Stupid, I know. In addition to stupid, it was wrong. It was like I was having an out of body experience, and I wasn't even in control of my own body anymore. I..."

"Has he said anything to you?"

"No."

"You haven't tried to talk to him, about it?"

"No. To be honest, I kind of hoped that he was too drunk to remember."

"It was that bad?"

"No. It wasn't. That is the worst part. It wasn't bad. It was just wrong."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"No, of course not. Abby, it's not like that."

"You know that you have to tell him," Abby points out.

"I just don't know how. The whole situation is awkward enough as it is. I can't even believe that it happened. If I didn't have proof I wouldn't believe it."

"You would be in denial."

"Maybe, but at least there would be no proof that it happened. I feel..."

"You feel what?"

"Ashamed?"

"Why? People have sex all of the time. You're both adults. He's your boss, but stranger things have happened."

"He's like a father to me. Do you have any idea how wrong that makes it?"

"It feels like incest?"

"I know that it's not, but...the thought kind of makes me sick to my stomach."

"You've already made a decision?"

"Yes."

"You're sure?"

"I'm not sure about anything, really."

"Is it what you want?"

"Yes, and I am not sure why."

"How does Tony feel about all of this?"

"Honestly, I think that he feels betrayed. He thinks that it should have been him."

"Should it, have been him?"

"It would be easier."

"Because?"

"Because... do I really have to say it? I know that you know why."

"Because you love him."

"It should have been him."

"If you had it to do over again..."

"I would do it differently."

"Even if it changed the outcome?"

"Probably."

"How did you get pregnant, in the first place?"

She furrows her brow, "I don't understand the question."

"Didn't you use protection?"

"Abby, I wish I knew. I don't even remember. The whole night was a blur. One that I'd like to forget."

"This is really messing with your head, isn't it? You blame yourself?"

"Who else is to blame?"

"You didn't do this on your own."

"I started it. I could have stopped it, and I didn't."

"You're not the only one who could have stopped it. It was a line that never should have been crossed, by either of you."

"I always thought that if any of us was going to end up..."

"Don't say it," Abby warns.

"I thought it would be you. I guess I've been wrong, a lot, lately."

"The thought has crossed my mind," she smiles.


	11. Simple Truths

"I would never actually sleep with Gibbs."

"But it's crossed your mind?""Maybe," she shrugs.

"I just thought that if anyone would sleep with Gibbs, it would be you."

"I am curious, but... I don't want that headache."

Ziva cracks a smile, "No, you don't," she finishes the conversation, and leaves the room.

It's late, on a Saturday night. Miraculously they hadn't gotten a case. She finds herself standing on the other side of a familiar door. She raises her hand to knock, but just stares at it, instead. She hears footsteps, but stands frozen.

He pulls the door open. He looks at her for a moment. Clearly, there was something on her mind. He looks past her, at the rain coming down.

"Is there a reason that you're standing out there?"

"I was going to knock."

"The door's always open. And since when do you knock?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"Are you going to come in, or not?"

"I probably shouldn't have come."

"I wouldn't know, I don't know why you're here."

"There is something that I want to talk to you about."

"Then come in."

"I..."

"Come in," he insists.

She steps into the house, and follows him into the living room. He points to the couch, "Have a seat," he insists, walking away.

She plants herself on the couch. He walks into the kitchen.

"Can I get you something to drink?"

"No."

"I've got some beer, in here, that's about it."

"No, I'm fine."

He comes back into the room, with a beer. He takes a seat on the other end of the couch. He looks at her, waiting for her to say something, willing her to speak. She stares at the coffee table, in silence.

"What's on your mind?"

"Why does it matter?"

"You're here, so it must be something important."

"It is. I probably should have tried to have this conversation, with you, sooner."

"What conversation?"

"About what happened."

"I see. I think that we both know..."

She cuts him off, "It was a mistake. It was stupid. It was bad judgment, on both our parts."

"So why do you want to talk about it?"

"I don't."

"Then why are you here?"

"Because we have to talk about it."

"Because?"

"I never should have come here, that night. I shouldn't have allowed myself to drink so much. I..."

"Where is this going?"

"First off I'd like to apologize, for being such an idiot."

"You weren't the only one. A mistake was made, on my part too."

"I would like to think that we could pretend that it never happened."

"I can do that, if it's what you want."

"It is, but... I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not that simple."

"What do you mean? If you want to pretend that it never happen, then pretend that it never happened. Why isn't it that simple?"

"Because even if I pretend that it never happened, it's not true. It did happen, no matter how much I wish that it didn't. No matter how much I would like for it all to go away... I can't make it."

"What are you talking about?"

"You're my boss."

"I know."

"You're more like a father to me, than my own father."

"I can understand why that would be weird."

"No, you don't know the half of it."

"The half of what? Ziva what is going on with you? Why have you been acting so strange lately? Is it because of what happened? Are you feeling guilty or something? You have nothing to feel guilty about. It wasn't your fault. I was there too. I should have stopped it. I'm sorry that I didn't. Obviously it is affecting you, a lot more than I ever thought it would. I take the blame here. I was wrong."

"It's affecting me a lot more than I thought it would."

"What I don't understand is, why?"

"It has never bothered me before. I have made poor judgment calls with people I have slept with in the past, but this is different."

"Different how?"

"Because I have to work with you everyday."

"Do you want to be transferred? Is that what this is about?"

"No. I don't want to be transferred. I like being on your team. I like being at NCIS. I love my job, most of the time."

"So what is this about?"

"I..." her tone changes, "You know, maybe it's better that I don't tell you."

"Tell me, what?"

"I think that you're probably better off not knowing. I should go. I never should have come, in the first place. It was a mistake. This all, was a mistake."

"Ziva talk to me. What has you in such a rough place? This is not like you, at all. You haven't been yourself lately."

"That is because I'm not."

"Not what?"

"I am not myself, lately. I have too much on my mind, to be myself. I wish that I weren't like this, because it is driving me crazy. I don't feel like myself. I guess I will get used to it."

"Is there something wrong with you?"

"No, there is nothing wrong with me."

"So what gives?"

"It will go away, eventually, I think, I hope."

"What will?"

"This feeling?"

"What feeling?"

"That I let you down. That I betrayed my partner. That I screwed up so badly, that there is no fixing it. That I am going to rip the team apart. That you are going to hate me."

"Why would you feel that way?"

"Because I do. I want so badly to be happy about this, but I just can't. Not right now. I hope that I will be, eventually, but I'm not right now."

"Happy? About what? Ziva I have no clue what you're talking about. First you want to talk about what happened, and then you're going on about ripping the team apart, and betraying your partner, and how you want to be happy. I don't see where this is going. Does it all relate somehow?"

"I told Tony what happened."

"He feels betrayed?"

"Yes."

"Because?"

"He thinks that it should have been him, instead of you."

"Do you think that?"

"Yes."

"You're afraid that's going to tear the team apart? You're afraid that your feelings for him are going to tear the team apart?"

"No. Any feelings that I might have for him are on the back burner right now."

"They've been on the back burner for a while, don't you think it's time do something about them?"

"No, not now."

"Why not?"

"Because I..." she pauses, to take a deep breath, "I am pregnant. I am pregnant, and it is definitely yours."

"Oh."


	12. In Another's Eyes

"That is all you have to say?"

"Ziva, what do you want me to say?"

"Something, anything."

"I am assuming that you're going to keep it."

"I would not be telling you, if I was not."

"Ok."

"Ok?"

"I'm not really sure what to say."

"I certainly don't know."

"What do you want from me?"

"For you not to hate me."

"Why would I hate you? Ziva I don't hate you."

"But it was a mistake."

"The how, was a mistake. I will agree with that. The consequences, I don't think that was a mistake. I don't you think that either."

"No, I don't. You taught me to not believe in coincidence. Obviously there is something to be learned from this. I am just not sure what that is, yet."

"A lesson in humility, maybe."

"You know that I don't expect anything, from you, right? I am just telling you, because I thought that you should know. I have been putting it off for a while, but I was afraid that Abby would tell you."

"How long has she known?"

"Three days. I didn't think she would be able to make it through Monday, without telling you."

"You know that I'm not going anywhere, right?"

"How on earth is this possibly going to work? I mean..."

"We'll figure it out."

"How?"

"What do you want?"

"I want for things to be simple, and that is never going to happen."

"Sure it can."

"How? I am having your baby and..." she trails off.

"You're having a baby, with your boss, and you're in love with your partner. I can see where that could get complicated. Especially when you have to follow rules that keep you from acting on the feelings that you have for your partners. The same rules that you broke in order to be having a baby, with me. It's complicated."

"I know."

"Ziva?"

"Huh?"

"You have to live your life."

"That is easier said than done. I am pregnant, with your baby. Now is not the time to..."

"You have to get yourself together, before, you can do this."

"I don't know how."

"You shouldn't be here, right now. You don't want to be here, right now. You'd rather be talking to your partner."

"Yes."

"Then go."

"I..."

"Go," he insists.

She finds herself standing outside a door, on the other side of town. She doesn't hesitate to knock, this time. Instead she knocks. She hears footsteps coming towards her. She hears the bolt unlock, and the chain come undone. He pulls the door open, and smiles at her.

"Come in," he motions for her to come in, even though he's already in his pajamas.

She steps into the apartment.

"You look like you just have the life sucked out of you."

"I told Gibbs."

"Oh, and how did that go?"

"A lot better than I expected."

"So how do you feel?"

"Relieved."

"So why are you here?"

She smiles, "Because I want to be."

"You want to watch a movie? I was just about to sit down, and start one."

"Why are you already in your pajamas?"

"It's ten o'clock."

"On a Saturday night."

"I was hoping to have a date."

"In your pajamas?"

"I was hoping that you might stop by."

"That's why you've called me three times tonight?"

"I just wanted to make sure that you were ok."

"Do you think that I am suicidal, or something?"

"No, I just worry about you."

"Why?"

"Because you shouldn't have to go through this alone. I know that you've got a lot going on in your head right now. I mean you're pregnant. You're pregnant with Gibbs baby. I can't imagine what it must be like for you, to know you're pregnant, and then you add in that it's your boss's baby. That's just crazy."

"Life is crazy."

"I ordered pizza."

"Gibbs called?" she guesses.

"He said that you were on your way, and that if you didn't make it in fifteen minutes to send out a search party."

"It takes twenty minutes to get here."

"For a normal person. It takes you ten."

"I guess I should probably slow down a little bit."

"Why start now?"

"So I don't end up wrapped around the tree, with a baby in my backseat."

"I guess that is a good point. Gibbs would kill you, if that happened."

"I know."

"So where did you leave things with him?"

"Kind of up in the air."

"It's probably best that you give him time to process."

"How much time? I mean I have known for months, and I still haven't processed it yet. When is it going to sink in that this actually real?"

"I don't know," he shrugs, "Didn't seeing it make it any more real?"

"Maybe. But it's just a black and white picture."

"Doesn't it freak you out?"

"What?"

"That there is something inside of you. Growing, and moving, and all sorts of stuff? I mean it's kind of like an alien, or a parasite, if you think about it. That would be weird."

"That was so helpful."

"What do you want me to refer to it as? It doesn't really look like anything yet."

"Except a baby."

"But it's so small. It's like a little peanut."

"A peanut?"

"Yeah. I think I'll call it peanut."

"You're going to call my baby peanut?"

"Until you find out what it is."

"What if I don't want to find out what it is, until it's born?"

"Why would you want it to be a surprise? Do you have that much patience? I know that I don't. If you don't find out, can I?"

"Why would you need to know?"

"So I can come up with a name."

"You don't get to name it."

"You're no fun. So are you going to find out, or not?"

"We'll see."

"If it's a girl I was thinking Wonder Woman, and Batman for a boy," he jokes.

"I will make sure to put it on my list."

"Do you have a list yet?"

"No, I do not."

"Maybe you should start one. I'll get you a piece of paper, so you can jot mine down."

"Who says you get to have any input?"

"I do. If I don't you'll name him something boring like John, or Fred."

"Him?"

"Or her. You'll probably name her Ruth, or Emily, or something terrible."

"If it's a girl I'd name her after Jenny."

"And if it's a boy?"

"I don't know," she shrugs.

"You should think about it."

"Why?"

"Cause it's going to be a boy. Don't argue with me. I have a sixth sense with these things. I've never been wrong. It's definitely going to be a boy."


	13. One Wish

She wakes up, and looks around, trying to figure out where she is. After a few seconds she realizes where she is. She pulls off the blanket that is over her. She sits up, on the couch. She quietly moves across the room. She stops in the doorway of the bedroom.

He rolls over, and looks at her. She doesn't say anything.

"If the couch is uncomfortable you can sleep in here. I don't mind. Just stay on your side, and don't kick me."

"I..."

"You're too tired to argue, come on," he pats the bed.

She shuffles into the room, and gets into bed. She burrows under the covers.

"You were cold out there, weren't you?"

"Why do you keep it so cold in here?"

"I have to have it cold to sleep."

"You have four layers of blankets."

"I have to have it cold, so I can have four layers of blankets. My blankets have to weigh certain amount, in order for me to sleep."

"That isn't normal," she tells him.

"You're talking to me about normal? I think that's like the pot calling the kettle black."

"Maybe."

"Good night."

"Night," she responds, closing her eyes.

Hours later she wakes up, in her partners bed. She looks at the clock. She exhales, and rolls over. She finds Tony lying on his side, with his head propped up on his hand, with his elbow supporting it. He just looks at her.

"How long have you been staring at me?"

"I've only been awake for ten minutes."

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I was just thinking."

"Please tell me you were just trying to be quiet, until I woke up."

"No."

"Why were you staring at me? It's creepy."

"I was lost in thought."

"About what?"

"Nothing."

"It was something, or you wouldn't have been staring at me."

"I was just watching you sleep."

"Why?"

"Because I can."

"But it is not normal."

"You look peaceful when you sleep."

"So?"

"I was just trying to picture something, I guess."

"Picture what?"

"I was wondering if your baby will look like you, when it sleeps."

"Do I look like a baby?"

"No. I mean the way you sleep."

"Why would you think about that?"

"I don't know," he shrugs.

"I'm glad I don't know what goes on in your head."

"Ziva?"

"What?"

"Nothing, forget it."

"Forget what? You didn't say anything."

"I know, and it's best that way."

"No it's not. Just say whatever you need to say."

"I really don't like this."

"That I'm in your bed?"

"That you're pregnant with Gibbs baby."

"I think that we have established that."

"It wouldn't matter whose baby it was, I wouldn't like it."

"Because you're afraid that a baby will steal your attention?" she mocks him.

"No," he pouts.

"Because you don't think I should have a baby?" she guesses.

"No."

"Because you're afraid that I'll like the baby more than you?"

"No," he huffs.

"Then why don't you like it?"

"Because it's not mine."

"You have got to be kidding. What makes you think that I would want to have your baby?"

"You're having Gibbs baby."

"What I mean is, why do you want me to have your baby? Isn't that a little unusual? I am your partner. You shouldn't want me to have your baby."

"You're right, I shouldn't, but I do. I want you to have my baby."

"You don't even want kids."

"But if I were going to have one, it would be with you."

"Why?"

"Because you're pretty," he jokes.

"Stop joking around, and tell me the truth. Take off your clown mask for a second, and tell me the truth. What is really going on here?"

"I am selfish. I'm possessive. I want you all to myself. I don't want to share you with another man. I don't want you to be with another man. I don't want you to have another man's baby. I know it's wrong, but it's the way it is."

"Why?"

"Because I want you to be mine."

"I am yours. I am your partner. I am always going to be your partner. I think you should know by now, that you can't get rid of me."

"I don't want to get rid of you. I want you. I..."

"You what?"

"Why can't we do this? Why do we have to pretend that neither of us can see it? Why do we have to act like the thought has never crossed our minds? Why do we find excuses about why we can't do this, why we shouldn't do this? Why can't we ever just admit the truth?"

"Because once it's out there, we can never take it back, bad, or good."

"I don't want to take it back."

"Then say it."

"I want to be with you. I want you. I know that it's wrong. I know I am your partner, and we are supposed to have a professional relationship. I know that I am not supposed to have any feelings for you, but I do."

"I know."

"I just want you to feel the same. I want to stop pretending that I can't see what we already have, what we could have, if we wanted to."

"I know."

"So do something about it. I am tired of waiting."

"Why do I have to do something? Why can't you be the man? You do something about it."

"I am trying, but you don't make it easy. You show no emotion you..."

"What emotion do you want? Just tell me."

"Any emotion," he admits.

"I want you too. I am jealous of the women you date. You always pick ones that are all wrong for you. You pick women that it could never work out with, and sometimes I think that it is intentional. You want to tick me off. You want me to be jealous. You want to irritate me so much that I just admit..." she stops.

"That you admit what?"

"I wish it was me."

"You wish what was you?"

"I wish you were with me. I wish that the world was simple, and that was ok. I wish that you could be with me, and no one would care. That it wouldn't affect our jobs. I wish it was me, but it isn't."


	14. U Should've Known Better

He smiles at her. "No, but it could be."

"How?"

"Just let it happen."

"Let it happen? Let what happen? Tony you don't really want to be with me. You might think you do, but you don't. I am complicated. I am having Gibbs' baby. I'm pregnant. Why would you want to be with a pregnant woman? A pregnant woman who is having someone else's baby. You would have to be crazy to want to get involved in that."

"I am crazy."

"Tony..."

"No, don't brush this off. It's time."

"Time for what?"

"The truth."

"What truth?"

"I..."

"You what?"

"I'm..." before he can finish his thought the phone rings. She rolls over, and grabs her phone.

"David," she answers, "Ok. I'll see you there," she hangs up.

"I was saying..." he starts.

She cuts him off, "It will have to wait, we have a case."

"Oh."

"We can finish the discussion, when we finish the case."

"Yeah, ok," he replies in disappointment.

After their case wraps up he stops at a bar, to have a drink. He walks in and finds her at the bar. He smiles, and takes a seat next to her.

"Ziva, you're going to have to find a better place to hang out."

"What's wrong with this place?"

"It's not really appropriate."

"It is where you are," she points out.

"It's ok for me to be here."

"And it isn't ok for me to be here?"

"It's just weird."

"I am not drinking."

"I know that, but I just don't think that it's appropriate."

"And why is that?"

"Ziva, you're pregnant. You shouldn't be hanging out at a bar."

"It isn't like I am here to drink, or pick up a guy."

"Can we just go?"

"Go? Go where?"

"Somewhere else."

"Why?"

"Because there's something I want to talk to you about."

"Why can't we do it here?"

"Because I don't want to. Here is not the place to do it."

"Tony..."

"I'm not trying to be a jerk. Please," he begs.

"Ok," she agrees.

When she reaches her car she turns, and looks at him. "So where are we going, exactly?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. Where do you want to go?"

"Home," she replies.

"Ok," he agrees, "I'll follow you there."

"Ok," she huffs, climbing into her car.

When he gets to the door of her apartment he's panting. He pulls the door open, as he tries to catch his breath.

"Why are you panting like a dog?"

"Why did you drive so fast?"

"I always drive fast."

"I thought that you said you were going to stop."

"I said I am going to try."

"Why do you walk so fast?"

"I always walk fast."

"Did you have to take the stairs?"

"No, but I like taking the stairs."

"Ziva..."

She ushers him in, and directs him towards the couch. He takes a seat, and looks at her. She stands in front of him, with her arms crossed over her chest. He looks at her.

"Have a seat, please," he insists.

She carefully plants herself on coffee table, in front of him.

"I am sorry if I have been acting like a jerk about this situation. I..." he trails off.

"You what?"

"You're not the only one who has made mistakes."

"What do you mean?"

"I've made some too. I should have told you the truth, a long time ago. I should have been more mindful of what I was doing, and how it affected you."

"Tony what are you talking about?"

"I let you push me away, when I should have pushed back. I thought that I should give you time, and space, but that isn't what you needed. You needed someone to be there, and I wasn't."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

"Because I think that you should know."

"Know what?"

"The truth."

"What truth?"

"I am jealous. Not for the reasons that you think, though."

"You're not jealous, because you wish it was you? You're not jealous because you have feelings for me? You're not angry at yourself, because you've never had enough courage to tell me the truth? You're not upset because you think that you're going to lose me? You aren't upset because you think that it's too late, that you've missed your chance? You think that I am not willing to give you chance. You think that I am not interested?"

"Ok, maybe you do know the reasons."

"Yes, I do. I don't think you know mine, though."

"You're afraid that it won't work. You're afraid we're too different to ever make it work. You don't want to take that chance, because you don't want to lose me, as a partner, as a friend. So, you're willing to never take that chance, if it means that you'll never lose me."

"Yes."

"I'm willing to take that chance," he admits.

She exhales, "Yes, but what I do not understand, is why. Why would you want to take that chance? On me?"

"I think that you know," he insists.

"No I don't. If I knew..." she chokes back tears.

"You don't know?" he questions.

She shakes her head.

"I guess I thought that it was obvious. I mean it seems to be obvious to everyone else, around us. I thought that it was obvious to you too."

"What is obvious?"

"Why I'm willing to take that chance."

"I don't know. Tell me."

"What I said in Somalia, it was true."

"You said a lot of things in Somalia, I cannot remember all of them."

"Yes you do. You know exactly what I am talking about. When I said that I couldn't live without you, I meant it."

"So?"

"You should know why."

"Then tell me. Tell me why you can't live without me."

"I love you."

"No, you don't," she argues.

"Ziva, I am telling you the truth. Maybe you are so jaded that you can't believe me. Maybe you just don't want to believe me, but it's true. I am in love with you."


	15. What The Heart Wants

She stares at him, in silence. He tries to read her expression, but the can't, so he interrupts the deafening silence.

"Say something."

"I don't know what to say."

"Anything."

"You want to sleep with me?"

"What?"

"Why else would you be telling me all of this?"

"I do want that, but it's not why I'm telling you this."

"Then why?"

"Because I have kept the truth from you, for too long. You know that. It was always there, but we both ignored it. We ignored it for too long. The things that I didn't say, that you didn't say, they were starting to come between us. I felt myself losing you."

"That is why, you were so upset when I told you what happened, with Gibbs?"

"I don't want to lose you, ever, to anyone.""You're not going to lose me."

"Do you really believe that? Sometimes I see the look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"That you want to leave. That you want to be able to just walk away."

"Yes, but not for the reasons you think."

"You don't miss being an assassin?"

"Not for a second."

"Why then? Why do you want to leave?"

"Leaving would be easier."

"Easier how?"

"Because then I wouldn't have to live with this everyday."

"Live with what?"

"I wouldn't have to work with you everyday, knowing that I can never have what I want to have."

"What do you mean?"

"You're my partner. You're off limits. I keep coming back to you. None of my relationships ever work out."

"I've noticed."

"Because they never measure up."

"You've got high expectations, I understand that."

"No, you don't," she argues.

"So enlighten me."

"They never measure up, because they're not you."

"What do you mean?"

"They can't measure up, because you are the person I am comparing them to. None of them are you. None of them are ever you."

"Me? Why do you compare them to me?"

"At first, I didn't even realize that I was doing it. Then once I realized, I didn't know why. One day, it finally hit me. None of my other relationships work out, because I don't want them to. I don't want to be with someone, who isn't..." she stops.

"Isn't what? Charming? Charismatic? Tall? Handsome?"

She cuts him off, "You."

"Excuse me?"

"I want you. Why do you think I left, in the first place? I knew that I could never have you. Knowing that, and having to work with you everyday, that was too hard. And I felt as if you had betrayed my trust, and I couldn't bear that. You were the only person in my life who had never betrayed my trust. I thought that I could trust you. I thought that I could count on you. What happened with Michael, it made me question everything that I knew about you."

"You can trust me, you can count on me."

"I know that, now."

"Why, haven't you said anything?"

"It was never the right time. There was always a reason not to tell you."

"You can tell me now."

"Tell you what?"

"The whole truth, and nothing but the truth."

"At first I really just wondered what it would be like."

"You mean what I would be like, in bed?"

"Yes, but after a while, it was more than just a curiosity. I needed to know. And somehow, knowing that I couldn't have you, made me want you more. But somewhere along the line it turned into more than just lust."

"Why do things always work out for us like this?"

"What do you mean?"

"At the worst, most inconvenient time."

"Tony, I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what?"

"For everything. I'm sorry that I..." she trails off, as tears well up in her eyes.

"That you what?"

"I'm sorry that I slept with Gibbs. I wish, everyday, that I could take it back, but I can't."

He leans forward, and hugs her to his chest. "I know."

She pushes him away. "I wish that I could take it back, because I hate how much it hurt you. I never meant to hurt you. I..."

"I know. It's going to be ok."

"How? How is it going to be ok? I slept with Gibbs, who is more like a father to me, than my own father. I am having Gibbs baby, and I love you," she blurts out.

He looks at her in bewilderment. She stares back at him, in horror, of what she's just said. He allows a moment to pass, before he speaks. He smiles, and tucks stray hairs behind her ear.

"I know that this is a complicated mess. I know that this did not work out the way that you planned. I understand how hurt you are. I know how badly you feel, for what happened. And you're right, I was hurt. I was hurt, because I thought of all the people in the world, you should be able to trust me. I felt like you didn't trust me anymore, that is what hurt the most. Not that you slept with him, but that you trusted him more. I don't want you to feel bad about it anymore, though. I want you to get over it."

"Why?"

"Because you have to. Because I forgive you. Because I need you to. Because you need to, for your baby. You have to let it go, so you can do what's best, for your baby, what's best for you."

"How could you possibly forgive me? After everything I have done, after everything that I have put you through. How could you forgive me?"

"I love you, and that's enough of a reason."

"But you shouldn't."

"No I shouldn't, but I do, and no one can change that. Because like it or not, the heart wants what the heart wants."

"But it shouldn't."

"But it does."

"And what does your heart want?"

"You. It wants you."

"But..."

"No buts. It wants you. I want you. Regardless of the circumstances, I want you."


	16. Too Real

He takes a breath, "Tell me what do you want? What does your heart want?"

"I want... I want you to love me. Love me, and no one else."

"Why did it take you so long to ask?"

"I didn't know how. I didn't think that you could ever love me. I didn't really think that anyone could..."

"Because you're broken? Because you feel unworthy?"

"Yes."

"You know, all you had to do was ask."

"No," she swallows hard, "I didn't know."

"I'm sorry you didn't know."

"So now what?"

"You let me love you."

"And if I can't?"

"You have no choice."

"Are you sure about that? Do you really know what you're getting in to?"

"I am thrusting myself into complete, and total chaos. But I'd like to let you in on a secret."

"And, what is that?"

"There's no one else I'd rather be in the midst of chaos with."

"That's good, because we always seem to be in the midst of chaos."

"It likes us."

"And why do you think that is?"

"Because we're secretly superheroes."

"Secretly?"

"I don't like being in chaotic situations. But, I have to admit, I feel better when I'm in them with you."

"And, why is that?"

"Because you always remain calm. You keep me from freaking out."

"Sometimes you freak out."

"But, I know that I have to stay calm enough, to keep us from getting killed."

"I thought that was my job."

"Which is why you're my partner."

"What is wrong with McGee?"

"Nothing, he's just not you."

"That's for sure."

"I almost forgot, I have something for you."

"You have something for me?"

"I have to confess."

"What else could you possibly have to confess?"

"Just one more thing."

"Go, ahead."

"I sort of broke into your desk, and stole something out of it."

"You have no respect of personal space."

"Says the woman who ate my burrito the first time we worked together."

"It wasn't the first."

"Not the point."

"Why are you confessing that you stole something from my desk?"

"I am going to give it back to you."

"That's what you have for me?"

"Will you just close your eyes?"

"Close my eyes?"

"Ziva, please," he begs.

"Fine," she huffs.

"I'll be right back."

"Ok."

He goes to his car, and runs back to her apartment. He skips the elevator, and sprints up the stairs. He comes into the apartment, and she's smiling at him.

"You need to get into better shape."

"I'll keep that in mind," he huffs, and puffs.

"What do you have for me?"

He holds out an object, wrapped in silver paper.

"What is it?"

"You're supposed to open it to find out."

"Why are you giving me a gift? Is there some special occasion that I have forgotten about?"

"No, no special occasion."

"Why are you giving me a gift?"

"Just open it, and stop asking questions."

"Ok," she agrees. She flips it over, and carefully slides her finger under the seam. She carefully unwraps it, making sure not to rip the paper.

"Ziva, you don't have to save the paper, just rip it open," he tells her.

She rips the paper off, and wads it into a ball. He takes it from her. She lays the picture frame in her lap. She stares at it, silently. The picture she had shown him at work. The one of her unborn baby. After a few moments she looks up at him.

"You don't like it?"

"I... I don't know what to say," she admits.

"Too much?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Then why are you about to cry?"

"This is thoughtful, and you...are never thoughtful."

"I can be. That's not why you're about to cry, though, is it?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Does it scare you?"

"Does what scare me?"

"That it's real? That you have photographic evidence? There is a person inside of you."

"Sometimes."

"Can I ask you something?"

She nods.

"What were you thinking?"

"Sleeping with Gibbs?"

"No, we already established that you were using poor judgment, on that."

"So, what, are you asking?"

"At your appointment, when you got to see the baby, what were you thinking?"

"That I could no longer pretend that it wasn't real. I didn't really know what to think. I did not realize that it was such a big deal."

"Of course it is."

"I heard the heartbeat."

"Yeah?"

"I guess I did not realize that I..."

"That you could be so attached to someone who isn't even born yet?"

"Yeah."

"You look tired."

"I am."

"Then go to bed."

"Ok."

"I'll go."

"Stay."

"Stay? I'm not sleeping on the couch."

"No one is asking you to."

"Ok," he nods.

She takes a quick shower. She gets into her pajamas. He uses her shower, and she finds him something to sleep in. He questions her about who the clothes belong to. She reveals that they are his. He puts them on, and she finds him a toothbrush. A new one. One that is unopened, and unused by anyone else. When he comes out of the bathroom she's already lying in bed.

Half an hour later he finds himself laying in her bed. He lies on his back. One of her arms reaches across his chest, the other rests at her side. Her head rests on his chest. She listens to his heart as it beats. His arm holds her against him. It rests on her back. He listens to her breathing. Though it's dark, and he can only see her outline, he knows that she's not asleep.

"You're not asleep," he points out.

"Neither are you."

"Something's on your mind?" he guesses.

"Always," she admits.


	17. Not Tonight

"So what's on your mind, right now?" He wonders.

"Probably the same thing that's on yours."

"Bed can be used for more than just sleeping?"

"Yeah."

"We should be asleep."

"We should be in our own beds. We should just be partners. We should know better. We should be a lot of things, but we're not."

"We can be something else, if you want."

"You know what I want. You always know what I want," she points out.

"I try," he admits.

"Can't you just give me what I want?"

"Tonight?" His eyebrows nearly touch his hairline.

"Do you have somewhere better to be?" she wonders.

"No, but does it have to be tonight?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I'm not prepared," he reveals.

"I'm already pregnant," she reminds him.

"I meant mentally," he clarifies.

"For what? It's not like I'm a black widow spider. I am not going to eat you, when I'm done with you."

"I just want it to be right. I want it to be everything that we imagined that it would be."

"You are being a sissy."

"Wow you really know how to sweet talk a man."

"Please."

"Ziva..."

"I am not going to break."

"I know that."

"Is it because you're afraid that..."

"No."

"You don't even know what I was going to say."

"It's not because you're pregnant. I just want to wait."

"We have waited long enough!"

"One more night isn't going to kill you."

"And if it does?"

"You can come back to haunt me," he tells her.

"Why do you want to wait?"

"You'll make fun of me."

"I already do, on a daily basis."

"I don't want to say."

"Tony, stop being ridiculous."

"I want it to be special."

"Special? You sound like such a girl."

"See what I mean? To be honest, I think you just want to get it over with."

"So?"

"Go to sleep."

"You expect me to be able to sleep? Now I'm frustrated."

"Tell it to your dreams. I'm going to sleep."

"You can go to sleep, just like that?"

"Sure, why not?"

"Please?"

"No, go to sleep. You're too tired, anyway."

"How would you know?"

"Because you've been up for forever. Go to sleep."

"What if I don't want to?"

"That's too bad."

"I'm just going to lie here, wide awake, until..."

He cuts her off, "Suit yourself, but in five minutes I'll be asleep. You know what that means? You won't be able to sleep. I know how much you hate my snoring. You'll be awake all night, and then in the morning you'll be cranky. You'll be cranky, and you won't even want to talk to me. It just prolongs the process. Besides it is probably better to rest before we involve ourselves in such a serious undertaking, don't you think?"

"You think that I'm going to fall asleep, halfway through, or something?"

"I didn't say that."

"But you were thinking it, weren't you?"

"Please just go to sleep."

"Why are you so insistent on me going to sleep?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"I like watching you sleep."

"Why would you watch me sleep?"

"You look very peaceful, until you start snoring. So for about five minutes, you look peaceful."

"Is that supposed to be a compliment, or an insult?"

"It's the truth. Now close your eyes."

"Fine, but I'm not going to sleep," she rolls over, to the edge of the bed.

"You'll fall off, if you sleep all the way over there," he warns.

"I don't want to crowd you."

"I would prefer that you didn't wake up with a head injury."

"I'm fine."

"Move over here," he whines.

"Why?"

"Because I am asking you to."

"Why? You don't want to have sex."

"That doesn't mean I don't want you close to me."

"Why..."

He cuts her off, "Scoot over here."

"No."

"Fine, I'm too tired to argue," he relents.

He waits until she falls asleep. She starts to snore, and he reaches over, and rolls her over, onto her other side, so that she's facing him, and if she rolls she'll roll towards him, instead of off the bed, into the bedside stand, onto the floor. It was surprising, actually, because she didn't resist him. She didn't fight, like he had expected. Instead she goes where he wants her to. That was the beauty of sleep. You did things in your sleep you would never do awake. He rolls onto his side, to face her. He looks at her for a moment.

"Goodnight," he whispers.

She doesn't respond. Clearly she was out. She takes a breath, that ends up as a snore. He puts the extra pillow over his head, and closes his eyes.

She lays still for several minutes. She pretends to snore. She waits until he's asleep. He begins to snore. Her eyes pop open. She looks over at him. She scoots towards him. She puts one hand between her face, and her pillow. The other hand she rests on his arm. She closes her eyes, and goes to sleep.

He wasn't the only one who wanted to be close. She just wasn't ready to admit, exactly how much she needed him. How much she wanted him near her. He wasn't the only one who wished that she had chosen differently that night. She would have chosen him, if she had it to do over again. If she could wake up in the past, and take it back, she would. But this wasn't a dream, it was real, and there was no taking it back. Not now, not ever.


	18. Your Fault

She wakes up, in his arms. She finds him staring at her. Her eyes dance. He waits for her to push him away, like she always does. She doesn't. She moves closer, closing the space between him. Before he knows it, her lips are pressed to his. Finally they come up for air.

"If I didn't know better, I would think that you're trying to seduce me."

"I definitely am."

"It's not going to work," he argues.

"Isn't this special enough? Or, would you like to wait until after I push a watermelon out of my..."

He cuts her off, "Stop, just stop."

"You're going to have to make me," she insists.

He kisses her.

Before he can go any further the phone rings. She reaches over him, and grabs his phone. She clicks accept, and puts it to his ear.

"Hello? Yes. Ok. See you in a few," he hangs up. He puts the phone back, and groans.

"What is that about?"

"We have to go to work now."

"Oh," she rolls over.

When they arrive at work Tony makes a beeline for Gibb's desk. Gibbs looks up at him.

"Are you ready to go?"

"Can we talk?"

Gibbs gets out of his seat. "Lets go," he motions for him.

Ziva, and Tim watch from their desks, as Gibbs, and Tony walk past them, towards the elevator. They watch, until the elevator doors close.

Gibbs flips the emergency switch, and the elevator screeches to a halt. He looks at his senior field agent.

"Speak," Gibbs insists.

"I would like to punch you in the face right now, just so you know."

"I know."

"Good, I'm glad that you know."

"You want to talk about it?"

"You crossed a line."

"I know."

"It's your fault," DiNozzo continues.

"I know."

"All of this, it's your fault. You are her boss. You are supposed to be in control. You are the one who is supposed to keep us from making terrible, life altering decisions."

"I know."

"How could you even think that it would be ok?"

"I didn't."

"You betrayed me. You made my partner betray me."

"I didn't make her do anything."

"But you didn't stop her. You know how I..."

"No matter how many times anyone apologizes to you, it's never going to be enough."

"Why not?"

"Because the person that you're really angry at here, is not me."

"You think that I'm angry with Ziva?"

"Part of you is."

"Who else do I have to be angry with?"

"Yourself."

"For what? I'm not the one who took advantage of her, when she was drunk."

"You should know her well enough to know that nobody takes advantage of her."

"You crossed a line."

"I crossed a line, a professional boundary, but... I don't think you blame me."

"Yes I do, you're the one who slept with her, you're the one who got her pregnant."

"Why are you just getting angry at me now?"

"It's just starting to sink in."

"Why are you so angry at me? It's not like she belongs to you."

"But she should. It should have been me."

"Why wasn't it?"

"It was you instead."

"But why?"

"Because she... she trusts you. I betrayed her trust. She needed me to be there for her, and she was afraid that I couldn't be."

"I know."

"How did this happen? How did this get to be such a mess?"

"Everyone made mistakes."

"How do I fix it?"

"You should be talking to her, instead of me."

"I'm still angry at you."

"What would you like to do about it?"

"Punch you in the face."

Jethro crosses his arms over his chest. "Go ahead. I deserve it."

"No," DiNozzo shakes his head.

"I'm giving you permission."

DiNozzo turns the elevator back on. The doors open. Tim, and Ziva stand outside, waiting for them. Gibbs watches Tony as he walks past them.

"Grab your gear, we have a crime scene to be at," he hollers after him.

Hours later Gibbs makes his way, to Abby's lab. She spins around as he enters the room.

"I don't have anything for you yet, but I will in a minute."

"Abby?"

"Huh?"

"Is something on your mind? You've been awfully quiet lately."

"I'm worried about you."

"Why would you be worried about me?"

"You slept with Ziva."

"I know."

"And you also know that..."

"Yes, Abby, she told me."

"I just don't understand it."

"Understand what?"

"You sleeping with her. It is completely out of character for you. Tell me that she just thinks you slept together, and you didn't actually."

"Would that make you less worried?"

"Yes, but I want the truth."

"I slept with her."

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?"

"You have good judgment..."

"Not always."

"This is different."

"What are you worried about?"

"Gibbs I think there is something wrong with you."

"Wrong with me?"

"It would put my mind at ease, if you would have an MRI of your head."

"Why?"

"Because something in your brain, that impairs judgment, that's the only reason I can think of, that you would allow yourself to sleep with her."


	19. Not Ready

"You're being awfully quiet."

"I am fine," she insists as she picks at her lunch.

"Really? You're fine? You've barely touched your lunch."

"I am not that hungry."

"Why not?"

"I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow," she replies.

"You're nervous?" He guesses.

"Yes," she admits.

"Why?"

"I don't know," she shrugs, "I guess that it is some irrational fear."

"The baby is going to be fine," he reassures her.

"But..."

He wags his finger, "No buts. Now eat, please?"

"Fine," she grumbles.

"So are you going to find out what you're having?"

"I haven't decided yet," she admits.

"Are you going to ask Gibbs to go?"

"No. I am not."

"You don't think he should be there?"

"He can be there, after the baby is born."

"So have you come up with any baby names yet?"

"How many times are we going to have this discussion?"

"Until you come up with a name."

"I have a name."

"You have a name for a girl, but you are not having a girl."

"Why do you keep insisting that it's a boy?"

"I just know. Don't ask how I know, I just know. Can you come up with a name, please? Any name. You can name it Kermit the Frog for all I care, you just have to have a name for a boy, when you find out that I'm right."

"Would you like to make up a name?"

"No. Didn't you read that name book I got you?"

"Cover to cover."

"No you didn't," he argues.

"Ok, I got to C, an I had to stop."

"Are there any that you even remotely like?"

"I like the name Benjamin."

"Really?" he nearly spits.

"It doesn't sound like you believe me."

"Benjamin? I mean that's so plain, and boring. I can't picture your kid, with Gibbs, being named Benjamin. Good ol' Ben Gibbs. That's real catchy. Wait, are you going to give the baby Gibbs' last name?"

She shrugs, "That remains to be seen. I think that Benjamin is a perfectly good name."

"For a master chess player, or an eighty year old man. Would you actually call him Benjamin, or would you call him Ben? That drives me crazy, you know. When people name their kids one thing, and call them something else."

"Your name is Anthony, and we call you Tony," she points out.

"My point exactly. Why didn't may parents just name me Tony? Another thing that I don't understand, is when you name your kid one thing, and then you call them by their middle name."

"Like Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"

"Precisely."

"Now, are you going to tell me what's wrong with my name?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Why not? You don't want to offend me? You are afraid, that my hormonal imbalance will cause me to fly off the handle, and hurt you?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"Why not?"

"There is nothing wrong with your name."

"Really?"

"No. It's a nice name. It's fitting. It's pretty. It's not your run of the mill name. It's not something everyone else is named. I like your name."

"If I have a boy, I'll just call him Ziva, then."

"Ha, ha, very funny."

"If it was your decision, Tony, what would you name the baby?"

"I would name him..." he pauses for a moment to think, he smiles, and then answers, "Sig Sauer, your favorite man."

"You want me to name my son after my gun?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Could you be serious, please?"

"Ok, how about... Colt? Or Bullet? Or Magnum? Or Pistol? Oh, I've got it. You can name him Outlaw."

She waits patiently for him to finish. "Are you done now?"

"Cool hand Luke?" he adds.

"This is why you do not get any say. You can never be serious."

"I can be serious, if I try."

"Try."

"Can I talk to your belly?"

"Can you what?"

"I'd like to consult with the baby."

"I don't think so."

"Can I at least see your belly?"

"We are in public."

"And you're hiding under the table."

She rolls her eyes, and pushes her chair away from the table. She scoots out, so he can see. He looks. She looks back at him, sharply.

"Do not touch me," she warns.

"Touch what? There isn't even anything to touch. You can't even tell. You are ridiculous. You should be as big as a whale by now. You don't even look pregnant, and you're like halfway done."

"I'm sorry?"

He looks at her stomach. To the untrained eye, or anyone else in the world, it would probably just look like a little bit of a beer gut. It wasn't. There was something swimming inside there. He's watching her, as her hand flies to her stomach. He looks up at her, locking eyes with her. He shoots her a questioning look. Her hand retracts.

"What was that about?"

"Nothing," she lies.

"It was something."

"Nothing unusual. I am just still getting used to it."

"To what?"

"The kicking."

"Oh. Can I feel?"

She stares at him for a long time, with a scrutinizing glance. She cocks her head, trying to gauge his intention. Eons later she responds. She doesn't say a word. Finally she responds.

"No. I am not ready for that, yet."

"Ok," he concedes.

"So did you come up with a serious answer, yet?"

"Maybe you should name him Jackson, after Gibbs' father," he suggests.


	20. With Me

She shrugs, "Maybe."

"You could name him after your father. Have you told your father, yet?"

"No. Why would I? I rarely speak to him."

"Don't you think that he should know?"

"No. We are not close."

"You should still tell him. He should know that he is going to have a grandchild."

"That would be cruel."

"Cruel? Cruel how?"

"There is no way I am going to allow him to be involved in my child's life."

"He lives half a world a way. He might see your kid once a year. How much harm can he possibly do?"

"I do not want to find out."

"So are you going to find out tomorrow, or are you going to leave me in suspense?"

"That is for me to know, and you to find out."

"What are you going to do, if it isn't a boy?"

"I do not understand the question."

"I mean, what if you have a girl?"

"I have no preference, either way."

"But girls are... I cannot picture you with a daughter. I guess it could work, if she was mute. Then the two of you wouldn't have anything to argue about. I am sure that she would be equally as opinionated as you are. I guess you could ship..."

She cuts him off, "Do not finish that sentence, if you have any intention of keeping your tongue."

"Fair enough," he agrees.

"Can we go now?"

"Yes, your highness."

She wakes up at 0430, earlier than usual. She could convince herself to sleep until 0530 some days. Most of the time she got up between 0500 and 0515, but not this morning. This morning she was wide awake, at 0430. What Tony had said had gotten to her. She would never admit it to him, but she was concerned about the outcome would be.

She lies in her bed with her fingers laced behind her head, on top of her pillow, staring up at her ceiling. Alone, in her bed, wide awake, before the crack of dawn, thinking about her unborn child, was not what she wanted to be doing. Her instinct is to reach for the phone, but the voice in her head says it's too early to call him. She sighs, and then her phone begins vibrating on the stand next to her bed. She rolls onto her side, and reaches for it. She answers it, without looking at the caller I.D.

"I know it's early, but I'm wide awake. I didn't know who else to call this early in the morning. Did I wake you up?"

"No. I'm awake. Why are you awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Why couldn't you sleep?"

"I was thinking about the baby."

"You were thinking about my baby?" she wonders.

"I am assuming that's what you were thinking about too."

"Yes."

"And?"

"I hate when you plant seeds in my mind."

"Because they grow like weeds, and take over your whole train of thought?" he guesses.

"Exactly."

"You're going to find out?" he assumes.

"Yes. I am too impatient to wait until the baby is born, to find out."

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No."

"Do you want me to go with you?" he inquires.

Silence from the other end. He waits several seconds, and then breaks the silence. "Ziva, are you still there?"

"I'm still here."

"Did you hear me?"

"Yes."

"Why didn't you answer?"

"I was considering some scenarios."

"And you are afraid that I would embarrass you?"

"I have worked with you long enough, to have gotten over that, by now."

"But you still don't want me to go?"

"I did not say that."

"You're considering letting me go with you? Are you sure about that?"

"I think that someone should go with me, and... you'll do."

"You realize that I am going to..."

"Yes, I know."

"Why are you so modest all of the sudden?"

"I'm not. Things are just different now."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"And do what?"

"Make you breakfast."

"Why?"

"Because I'm hungry, and it's just as easy to cook for two, as it is to cook for one."

"You are always hungry. You should be careful."

"Why is that?"

"I would hate for you to look like you're the pregnant one."

"I will try to remember not to eat for two. So can I come over, or not?"

She pauses for a second. She hears a noise on the other end of the phone. She looks at the phone, and then directs the question to her partner, "Was that your stomach?"

"I told you that I was hungry."

"You wake up hungry?"

"Don't you?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"You are not very good at being pregnant."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"You don't look pregnant, you don't act pregnant. You don't eat like you're pregnant."

"Forgive me."

"Am..."

"Can you bring muffins, instead?"

"Where am I going to find muffins at four thirty in the morning?"

"By the time you get showered, and dressed, it will be at least five."

"Where am I going to find muffins at five o'clock in the morning?" he rephrases the question.

"Please."

"What kind?"

"You know that I like."

"Is this you, or the baby, that wants muffins?"

"Which answer will make you more willing to look all over half the countryside for muffins?"

"Neither."

"We have to go to work later," she reminds him.

"And I don't need you to be cranky all day."

"So you should probably find my muffins."

"You are manipulative."


	21. This Is Just A Test

Tony sits next to her. He quietly sits in the chair, staring at the monitor, not her stomach. He had promised himself that he would behave. That he would be professional, and not make her uncomfortable. He is so caught up in his own thoughts he nearly misses the conversation the doctor is having with her. He catches the tail end of it.

"You're having a boy," the doctor informs her.

Tony refocuses his eyes on the screen. He furrows his brow in confusion. He stares at what he guesses is a head, not anywhere remotely near the area that revealed gender. He looks at the doctor, and then to Ziva. She grins.

"I had to see if you were paying attention."

"Zi, that's mean. Don't, you think?"

She shakes her head, "No, not really."

"Are you actually going to find out, or are you going to continue to torture me?"

"Trouble in paradise?" the doctor questions.

They look at each other, and then at him. Ziva shakes her head. "No."

"Isn't he the father?"

She shakes her head, "No he's not the father."

"He's not the father? Your boyfriend?"

"No," she replies, "He's just my partner."

"Just your partner? Ziva, that hurts."

"Don't complain. You're here, aren't you?"

"Fair enough," he nods.

"So, do you want to find the gender out, or not?" the doctor inquires.

"I cannot deal with incessant poutiness, from him. Also, I am not patient enough to wait until the baby is born."

"Ok," the doctor nods.

He continues the exam. Tony's eyes remain fixated on the screen. His heart drops into his stomach, in disappointment. He crosses his arms, and looks at Ziva. She looks back at him.

"What?" she asks.

"It figures that your kid would be like you, stubborn as the day is long."

"I am not stubborn."

"That isn't the point. The point is, that his legs are crossed," he turns to the doctor, "Is there anything you can do?"

"Not really."

Tony looks over at Ziva, and scoots his chair closer. He talks to her exposed stomach. "Listen buddy, I know that you're trying to prove a point. It's your business. Do you think you could just give us a peek? If you don't your mom is probably going to end up shooting me, for pestering her."

He scoots back, and watches the screen. The doctor is about to turn the screen off, when the baby uncrosses it's legs. By this point Ziva has stopped watching. Tony looks for her reaction. She is paying no attention. He elbows her.

"What," she shoots him a dirty look.

* * *

><p>He slips into the room, behind her. She begins talking, without turning around.<p>

"I am almost done," she announces.

"That's not why I'm here," he admits.

She turns around slowly, noting his subtly different tone of voice.

"Why are you here?"

"I brought you something," he holds up a large, brown envelope.

"What is it?"

"Open it, and see."

She opens the envelope and looks inside. She holds it up to the light. She places it on the metal table in front of her, and looks at him.

"Where is this from?"

"I thought that you would want to have it."

"Why are you giving this to me?"

"To prove that I did what you asked."

"You are telling me that this is yours?"

"Yes," he nods.

"But..."

"I know."

"This is you, breaking it to me, gently?"

"Yes," he nods.

"I don't want to keep this," she insists.

"Abby, you'll want this, later."

"Later, no, I won't need it."

"Yes you will."

"Take it," she begs.

"No, it's yours."

"I don't want it to be mine. Gibbs, I..." she trails off.

"It's ok, Abby."

She shakes her head, "No, it's not."

He takes a step closer, and pulls her into a hug. She holds on tightly, afraid to let go.

"What are you going to do?" she inquires.

"Nothing."

"Nothing? You have to..."

He interrupts her, "There is nothing that can be done."

"There has to be something."

"No, nothing worth while."

"This is a mess. You never, should have..."

He cuts her off, "I know."

"I would have rather been blindsided."

"I know."

"Now I have time, to sit and think about it."

"Time to get used to it."

"No, I'll never get used to the idea. No matter how much time you give me."

"I don't think that it's up to me."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not."

"Have you..."

He answers the question, knowing what she is asking, "No, not yet."

"Are you going to?"

"No. Abby. I'm not."

"You have to. She needs to know."

"No, it's better that she doesn't."

"But..."

"No, buts."


	22. Promise Me

It's late, and upon Gibb's orders McGee, and Ziva have gone home for the night. Tony is putting the finishing touches on his paperwork, when he looks up, and finds Gibbs standing in front of his desk. The silver-haired man stares down at him.

"You need something, boss?"

"I need you to promise me something."

"Ok?"

"If anything happens to me..." he begins.

Tony cuts him off, "Nothing is going to happen to you."

"Instead of arguing, could you just listen?"

"Ok," he nods in agreement.

"If anything happens to me, I need you to..."

"Take care of the team, I got it."

"That, too."

"Too? What else do you want me to do?"

"Take care of baby."

"Where is this coming from?"

Gibbs cracks a smile, "I'm not getting any younger. In a few months I'm going to have a newborn."

"That, is a peculiar thought, huh?"

"Yeah," he nods, "You should go home. Get some rest."

"I..."

"Go!" Jethro insists.

He hesitates outside the door, wondering if she's asleep. He gently taps at her door. It was gentle enough to keep her from waking, if she was sleeping. He hears footsteps coming towards the door. He hears her unlatch the door. She pulls it open, and motions him in.

"I know it's late," he tells her.

"You seem to be over here, a lot more, lately."

"I was just thinking about you. I thought that I would stop and check on you."

"Check on me? I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. Is there anything you would like to talk about?"

She shakes her head, "No, should there be?"

"It was a big day. I just thought you might want to talk about it."

"Why?"

"Today you found out that you are..."

"I know," she cuts him off.

"You aren't ready to talk about it? Ziva, you know, at some point you are going to have to talk about it. Whether you're ready, or not."

"What is there to talk about?"

"You are having a baby."

"I know."

"You're at the half-way point. Don't you think that you should start getting ready?"

"I am ready."

"No, you're not. You don't have anything that a baby needs."

"I am ready," she tells him.

A light bulb goes off in his head. "Oh," he follows her to the couch.

"I hate when I get a feeling that I can't explain."

"Like, what? The love for your unborn child?"

"No. That isn't what I'm talking about."

"What's going on?"

"I just have the overwhelming feeling, that something is wrong, really wrong."

"A gut feeling?" he tries to confirm.

"Yes," she admits.

"You think that there is something wrong with the baby?"

She shrugs, "I don't know. I just know that, something, somewhere, in my world, is not right."

"Ziva, the baby is fine. You saw that. The doctor said that everything is on track."

"I know."

"You don't believe him?"

"I do."

He looks at her, and makes the decision not to tell her about his peculiar conversation with their boss. She looks at him, waiting for him to break the silence. He doesn't.

"Tony," she says softly, "Why are you, really here?"

"I like being here," he replies simply.

"Oh."

"Oh? That's all you have to say?"

"Do you want my permission to stay? I mean you don't really need it at this point. You're here so often you have a change of clothes, and a toothbrush, here."

"By the way, that's a nice outfit."

She looks down at her over-sized t-shirt. It stops just above the knees. The extra fabric easily conceals the small bump that she's sporting. Of course it is an NCIS shirt. She can't even remember when she got it, or where she got it.

"That's my shirt, you know," he points out.

"It is?"

"I let you borrow it a few years ago. You didn't have a whole lot to wear, in the way of pajamas."

"Why is it so big?"

He smiles, "It was the only size they had that day."

"I've never thanked you for..."

"You don't have to," he quickly interrupts her.

"There isn't anything I could do to repay you?"

He smiles, "Probably not in a million years."

"Seriously?"

"Don't give up on me."

"What?"

"That's what you can do. Just don't give up on me."

"I would never give up on you. Why would you say that?"

"A lot of people, in my life, have given up on me."

"I am never going to give up on you. No matter how many stupid things you do. I'm in too deep, to ever give up on you."

"You promise?"

"Uh huh," she yawns.

"Bedtime," he points to her bedroom. She doesn't move. He takes a step closer to you.

"Why are you still standing here?" he questions.

"What about now?" she replies.

"What about now?"

"Are you ready now?"


	23. Play His Game

She looks at the clock. 0545. On a normal day, she would already be out of bed. Today, was not a normal day. It was Saturday. Usually she would be out for a run. Today, she refused to get out of her bed. It was warm, and comfortable, and safe. She shifts in the bed, trying to get comfortable enough to go back to sleep.

"Go back to sleep," he mumbles.

She finally gets situated. Her head rests on his bare chest, and her arm is draped over his torso. His arm runs across her bare back, while his other arm rests beside him, on the edge of the bed. She closes her eyes, and falls back, into oblivion.

She wakes hours later. She rubs her eyes, and squints at the clock, through the sunlight. She realizes that she is alone in bed. This wasn't exactly how she pictured it happening. She rolls over, and pulls the covers tighter. She hears footsteps coming towards the doorway.

"Hey, sleepyhead. Are you going to get up, anytime soon? Breakfast is waiting."

Her eyes pop open, "You're still here?"

"Where did you think I was going to go?"

"Home."

"Home? No. Like you said, I already have a change of clothes here."

"But..."

"You figured that I would slink out of here, before you woke up, doing the walking of shame?"

She nods.

"Nope. I am not ashamed of anything that happened last night."

* * *

><p>He sits in the basement, sanding. He swallows the liquor in his glass. He looks up, hearing the footsteps. He finds a figure standing at the top of the stairs.<p>

"Are you coming down?" he asks.

"I haven't decided yet."

"Why are you here?"

"Because, I'm angry at you."

"You came to talk?"

"Yes," she admits, descending the stairs. When she reaches the bottom she starts moving towards him. She stops about a foot from him, and crosses her arms over her chest.

"What can I do, to make you less angry at me?"

"Nothing. It is beyond your control."

"Is there anything that I can do, to make it easier?"

"Tell me it's not my fault."

"Abby, it's not your fault."

"Then why do I feel like it is?"

He shrugs, "I don't know."

"If I hadn't... you never... and I wouldn't..."

"Abby, it wasn't your fault."

"Have you told anyone else, yet?"

"No."

"Are you going to?"

"No," he shakes his head.

"No? Gibbs, you have to."

"No. I don't."

"You don't think that they deserve to know?"

"Some things, are better left, unsaid."

"Really? Is that how you felt about..."

He cuts her off, "That was different."

"Not really. Too many things were left unsaid. Some things need to be said. We assume that people know how we feel. We can never know that, unless we tell them."

"I will not put everyone through that."

"Then why are you putting me through it? Why am I special?"

"You need more time. No matter how much time I give you, you will need more. I know that you will take longer. I didn't want you to be blindsided. I wanted you to have time to process."

"How much time?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. Abby, no one knows."

"Have you spoken to your father?"

"No..."

"You need to."

"Abby I have nothing to say."

"You have things to say, and you need to say them now."

"Ok. Anything else, that you want me to do?"

"There are lots of things."

"Like what?"

"Tell me that everything is going to be ok. Promise me that everything is going to work out," she stares at the concrete of the basement floor. His fingers slide under her chin. He tips her head up. Her eyes lock on his.

"You know that I want to, but I can't."

"I'm not ok with that."

"I know," he pulls her into a hug. Her arms hold on tightly, never wanting to let go.

* * *

><p>He walks past her desk on Monday morning. She seems unusually quiet, and exhausted. He stops, and turns around. He stands in front of her desk, looking down at her. She looks up, making eye contact.<p>

"Are you ok?" he asks her.

"Yes," she yawns.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm just tired."

"That's it? Something on your mind?"

"There is always something on my mind, Gibbs."

"Any thing, in particular?"

"How completely irritating Tony can be."

"What did he do now?"

"He keeps asking me about what I am going to name the baby."

"And?"

"I don't know. I would like to just make something up, to shut him up..."

"But?"

"I'm afraid that he would hold me to it."

"I see."

"Any suggestions?"

"On how to handle the situation?"

"On what to name the baby?"

"I think you should wait, until you meet it."

"Him," she corrects.

"Him?"

"Yes," she opens her drawer. She pulls out a picture and hands it to Gibbs. "I meant to give this to you, after my appointment on Friday."

"You don't have to."

"You should have it. He is yours, too."

"A boy?"

"Yes," she smiles, "A boy."

"You are just going to have to play his game, until you come up with a name."

"How?"

"Gender neutral names, it drives him crazy."

"Like, what? Alex?"

"Exactly."


	24. Over And Over

"So have you put anymore thought into what you might name the baby?"

She grabs a post-note off her desk, "Yes, I have a list."

"Go ahead."

"Feel free to weigh in."

"You know that I will."

"Alex, Bailey, Cameron, Devin, Eden..."

He cuts her off, "Really? You can't come up with something a little more original? You should be able to determine someone's gender, by their name."

"So then you don't like, Flynn, Greer, Hadley, Jamie, or Kaycee?"

"No. You don't like those names either. I think that you have spent too much time reading that stupid name book."

"You got it for me."

"Maybe you should just wait until you see him."

"Maybe you should just name him. Is that what you want?"

"I think it would be best."

"When you come up with a name let me know."

"I already came up with one."

"You did? And what is that?"

"Parker Anthony."

"No," she shakes her head.

"Why can't you name him after me?"

"Because I don't want to. You don't even like your name."

"What are you really planning on naming him?"

"When I know, you will be the first person I tell."

"Fine," he stomps off.

Leon comes down from his throne. He stops on the landing, behind Tony's desk. He looks down, and the people in the squad room.

"Gibbs, David, I need to see you in my office, now."

They shoot each other looks, and then make their ways up the stairs. They waltz through the open door into Leon's office. Gibbs closes the door behind himself. They join Leon, at the table. Leon sits at the end of the table, with one of them on each side.

"I am going to cut to the chase."

"About what?" Gibbs raises an eyebrow.

"I have heard some rumors," Leon admits.

"Standing around the water cooler, again, Leon?"

"Agent David," he turns, and his coal colored eyes bore through her, "Are you pregnant?"

"Does it matter?"

"If you are it has the potential to affect your job. I need to know."

"I am," she confirms, fighting the urge to crawl across the table, and throttle him.

"You knew?" his glance turns to Gibbs.

"Yes, she told me."

"Why wasn't I informed?"

"We thought that it was need to know," Gibbs replies.

"I didn't need to know?"

"Not yet. We thought that it would be best to wait, until everything was certain," Gibbs responds.

"Now I know. What I want to know, is about the other part of the rumor."

"And what would that be?" Ziva inquires.

"That your unborn child belongs to Agent Gibbs."

"That is completely ridiculous," Ziva comments.

"Even so, I want to know, is it true?"

Ziva quickly answers, "No. It isn't true."

"So then, the two of you have not had intimate relations?" Leon probes.

"He is my boss," Ziva counters.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"No. Nothing happened. The relationship that we have is merely professional," Ziva maintains the lie.

"So who is the father?"

"It isn't really any of your business, director."

"Is it one of your colleagues?"

"No."

"Then, who is it?"

"There isn't one," Ziva lies.

"There isn't one?" Leon raises an eyebrow.

"No," Ziva shakes her head, "I mean there is one. The thing is... I have tried to be discreet. I didn't want anyone to know," she answers.

"Know what?" Leons interest peaks.

"That I decided that I wanted a baby, so I chose to do this on my own. There isn't a man..."

"You're saying that there was donor?"

She nods, "Yes."

"I see."

"Can we go now?"

"Yes, you're free to go," he nods, in disappointment.

They leave the room. They walk side by side, back to the squad room, in silence.

He walks into autopsy, as quiet as usual. Ducky is expecting him. He begins talking, without turning around.

"The cause of death was blunt forced trauma to the..." he suddenly realizes that no one is listening.

Agent Gibbs stands on the other side of the exam table. He stares off into space, instead of looking at the victim.

"Jethro?" Ducky says softly.

Gibbs looks at him. "Yeah, Duck?"

"Is something bothering you?"

"A lot of things bother me, Ducky."

"Anything in particular?"

"Everything."

"With Ziva?"

"I wish that there was more I could do."

"There will be. Once the baby is here."

"You don't understand."

"You rarely allow me to understand you."

"I'm surprised that Abby didn't show you, or tell you."

"Show me what?"

"Nothing," he shrugs.

"She showed me..."

"Yeah," he nods.

"Asked my opinion."

"And?"

"There isn't anything you can do. Is there?"

"No," Jethro shakes his head.

"Why does that bother you so much?"

"This time, I need more time. I needed to fix this. I needed to do it right. I can't. Not this time."

"It seems as if we never have enough time, especially when it starts running out."

"Like sands through the hour glass."

Ducky smiles, "So are the days of our lives. It was mother's favorite soap opera."

"Shannon used to watch. I never understood why."


	25. Responsibilities

She opens her eyes, and finds him staring at her. He doesn't say anything."What?" she questions.

"Can we go shopping today?"

"For what?"

"Baby stuff."

"Why?"

"The baby will be here soon."

"Not for another two months."

"What if he comes early? You need stuff for him."

"What is this really about?"

He peels the blankets off her. He points, "That."

"I know it's about that."

"No. That," he points.

"The baby?" she questions.

"The stomach."

"What about it?"

"You still won't let me touch it."

"Why do you want to touch it?"

"Why don't you want me to touch it?"

"Why does it matter?"

"We spend almost every night in the same bed, together. We spend almost all of our time together. I have seen you naked, more than once."

"So?"

"Why is it such a big deal? Why can't I touch it?"

"It is not as if I go around letting people touch my stomach."

"No, but this is different."

"Then go ahead."

"Are you sure?"

"Obviously you want my permission."

"I just don't want you to break my arm."

"Go ahead," she nods.

"You're sure?"

"Before I change my mind," she warns.

His hand moves towards her. She stops his hand, "Wait."

"What?" he questions.

She rolls up her shirt.

"You don't have to do that," he insists.

"Just get it over with."

He presses his hand to her stomach. He looks up at her.

"What?"

"I can feel him moving."

"Move your hand," she tells him.

"That's it?"

"Just trust me," she answers.

He moves his hand. The baby kicks. He can see tiny feet.

"Is it weird feeling him move all the time?"

"I am used to it now."

"Does he move like that all the time?"

"Pretty much."

"Why was that such a big deal for you?"

She shrugs, "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I guess that maybe I just didn't want to share, with anyone."

"You have to share him. You know that, right?"

"I know," she nods.

"Zi?"

"Hm?"

"You know that I'm not going anywhere, right."

"I know."

"But?"

"I don't understand why. Why would you want this? Why would you want to take this on? It's not your responsibility."

"I love you."

"And?"

"And that's all the reason I need."

"He isn't yours."

"So I can't love him?"

"I..."

"He's a part of you. I love you, so I will love him too."

"Who are you? What have you done with my partner?"

"I just swallowed my pride."

"I'm glad that you did."

"You are?"

She nods.

"And why is that?" he inquires.

"Because I don't think that I can do this on my own. I know that I said I would, but..."

"It's ok."

"No, it's not. He's my responsibility. I should be able to take care of him, on my own."

"Ziva, it is ok to need help, sometimes. You're going to need a lot of help, you're having a baby."

"And I have no clue what I'm doing."

"Why don't we start by going shopping?"

"What do I even need?"

He shrugs, "I don't know. I guess we'll figure it out, when we get there."

"That doesn't sound like a good idea."

"Do you have a better idea?"

"No."

"We don't have to buy anything today. We can just go look."

"Look? Look at what?"

"Cribs, and diapers, and clothes."

"I am not ready for this."

"You told me that you were."

"I thought that I was."

"But?"

"He's almost here, now. I don't feel ready, at all."


	26. Seasons Change

Summer has faded into fall. Fall has begun to vanish. It is nearly winter. It promise to be a long, cold, bitter one, too. It is the week before Thanksgiving. Things have changed, with the seasons. Life for them as they know it, is changing. A new one about to begin. Another will end soon. It is the circle of life, but they aren't prepared for the way things will transpire.

Tony now spends every night, in bed, with his partner. They still argue, regularly, but the tension has disappeared. The change between them, can be sensed by everyone. Not everything is good. Nothing is perfect. Their family, their reality, their very foundation is about to be shaken.

Friday November, 18th,

He looks over at her. He taps his foot. She attempts to collect her things. She moves unusually slow these days. Her reflexes are as quick as ever. She just doesn't motivate as fast as she used to. He cann't fault her. She is, after all, only seven weeks from her due date. It is obvious now. She doesn't try to hide it. Finally she moves towards him, with a grimace on her face.

"Are you ready to go?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"No? What's that look for? We need to get going, if we're going to beat traffic. We have work to do."

"Not tonight."

"Not tonight? Stop playing around. We need to get a move on. We have a three hour drive ahead of us."

"I'm not going."

"Why not? Ziva, why are you making such horrible faces? You really don't want to go? Call Gibbs, tell him to send McGee instead, if you don't want to go."

"I can't go."

"You can't, why not?"

"Because I am going to be spending the night in the hospital."

"What? Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

"Why would you be in the hospital? What is going to happen?"

"I think I'm in labor."

"You can't be in labor. You have another seven weeks to go."

"Can you just take me to the hospital, please?"

"Yes," he nods.

He's leaning against the wall, outside of her room, waiting for someone to come out. A nurse comes out of the room. The doctor comes out behind her, and scurries down the hall. The nurse looks at Tony.

"It's going to be a long night. We're going to admit her."

"She is in labor?"

"Yes. We're going to try and stop the contractions."

"But?"

"Her contractions are already getting closer together. She's already dilated to four."

"You don't think that you can stop it?"

"I didn't say that."

"But?"

"I am doubtful. If there is anyone who wants to be here, you should call them."

"Ok," he nods, "Thanks."

He pulls out his phone, and makes a phone call. He slips the phone back into his pocket, and goes towards her room. He pushes the door open, and steps inside. He smiles upon seeing her.

"Why are you smiling?"

"I like your outfit," he jokes.

"I want to go home," she tells him, "I don't want to be here. Now is not the time."

"You have no control over this situation," he reminds her.

"It's too early. He isn't supposed to be here, for another seven weeks."

"I know that. Maybe you should tell him."

"I have."

"And?"

"He doesn't seem to care."

"I called Abby, and told her to rally the troops."

"I don't understand. Everything was fine. I wasn't even doing anything."

"You don't think that this had anything to do with you chasing down a perp this morning, do you?"

"I hope not."

"Why?"

"Because if it does, then it's my fault."

"It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is. I know better. That was a stupid thing to do. You and McGee, are perfectly capable of chasing after people. I don't have to do it. I am at a disadvantage. I have twenty five pounds of extra weight, slowing me down."

"Are you ok?"

"Do I look ok? I am hooked up to this stupid IV, I am wearing a stupid gown, in the hospital. I am in labor, seven weeks too early, and it's my fault."

"It isn't your fault. Ziva, calm down."

"Calm down? How am I supposed to calm down? He's not supposed to come this early. What if..."

"Don't play the what if game."

"What if something is wrong with him? What if he can't breathe on his own? What if..."

"Just stop, ok? Can you just believe that the contractions are going to stop, and that you're going to get to go home in the morning, instead of having a baby?"

"Fine."

"Now, try to get some sleep."

"Why?"

"Because if you don't get to go home, you'll be having a baby. You'll need your energy."

She closes her eyes, and drifts off. To, everyone's surprise she sleeps through the night. When she wakes up, the sun is coming in, through the curtains. Tony is sleeping, in a chair, next to her bed. No one else is in the room. She looks up at the clock, and nudges Tony.

"Hm?"

"Is that clock right?" she questions.

He opens his eyes, and looks at the clock on the wall. "Yep."

"I slept all night?"

"Yes."

"What happened?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"They stopped the contractions a couple of hours ago. They said that they are going to discharge you, and you should be out of here by noon."

"Good."

"There is some bad news."

"What?"

"You are going to have to be on bed rest, until the baby comes."

"I..."

"No arguments."


	27. Be The Man

December 9th, 2011

He walks into the living room, and finds her on the couch. He bends down, and pulls the blanket over her.

"Don't!" she hisses.

"Sorry. I didn't know that you were awake."

"I am."

"It's two o'clock in the morning."

"I know."

"Why are you out here? You should be in bed, asleep," he points out.

"I know."

"So, then why are you out here? On the couch, wide awake?"

"I couldn't sleep."

"Was I snoring, again?"

"Always, but that isn't what is keeping me awake."

"Do I have to guess, or are you just going to tell me?"

"I'm having contractions," she reveals.

"You've been having contractions on, and off, for weeks."

"This is it," she insists.

"Then why didn't you wake me?"

"You were sound asleep."

"So?"

"You get so cranky."

"Do you have your bag?"

"It's by the door."

"Did we ever get all of the boxes unpacked?" He wonders.

"Some of your boxes may have gotten lost."

"Meaning, you dropped them in the dumpster?"

"Maybe," she shrugs.

"At least the baby's room is done."

"Done? We still have to finish the paint."

"I finished it yesterday, while you were out."

"Oh."

"Can we go now?"

"I don't want to," she admits.

"Why not?"

"Because when we come back, he's going to be here."

"You don't want him here?"

"I don't know if I'm ready, for him to come out."

"You don't have any choice," he reminds her.

"I know."

Gibbs meets them at the hospital. Ziva is admitted. Gibbs situates himself in the waiting room.

* * *

><p>0538- After ten minutes of pushing the doctor puts a wailing baby boy, onto Ziva's chest. She looks at him, in silence.<p>

"Look at all his hair," Tony comments.

"Hi, handsome," she says to the baby. He instantly calms down, recognizing her voice.

2030- Gibbs sits in the corner of the nursery, in a rocking chair. He holds the sleepy baby in his arms. Tony comes in, and joins him.

"Is she ready for him?" Gibbs questions.

"Yeah."

"Still no name?"

"No name."

"He looks like her," Gibbs comments.

"He's going to have your eyes."

"It's too early to tell that."

"Maybe, but, he's going to be handsome, that's for sure."

"Tony?" Gibbs offers the baby, to Tony. Tony carefully situates the newborn in his arms. He moves over to the basinet, and places the baby inside.

"Yeah?" he answers.

"Promise me that you're going to take good care of him."

"That's not my..."

Gibbs cuts him off, "Just promise me."

"Ok."

"You'll treat him like your own? And, you'll teach him how to sail?"

"Why are you asking me this? He is your son. I know that I am with her, but... he is your son. I'm not trying to take him away from you. I never would."

"I just need you to promise me, that you'll take good care of him."

"Of course I will. Are you going somewhere?"

Gibbs doesn't answer. He just stares at the innocent, sleeping baby, in the basinet.

"Boss?"

"You can't tell her," he insists.

"Tell her what?"

"I don't want her to know," Gibbs adds.

"What are you talking about?"

"I won't see his first steps. I won't get to take him to his first day of preschool. I won't teach him how to catch a ball. I'll never see him graduate high school, or get married, and start a family of his own. You are going to have all of that. You will have to stand in, for me."

"I don't understand. Why wouldn't you be there?"

"Because I can't be. The simple fact, is, I won't be."

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"I'll be gone."

"Where?"

"I'll be dead."

"Dead? You're planning on dying, in the near future?"

"I wasn't planning on it, but I don't get any say."

"You're scaring me. What's wrong?"

"It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," Tony argues.

"Abby asked me a favor."

"And it's Abby, so you had to agree?"

"Right," Jethro agrees.

"And?"

"She asked me to have an MRI. She was sure that the only way my judgment would be clouded enough to sleep with Ziva, was if there was something wrong."

"But she was wrong?"

"Is she, ever?"

"Rarely."

"I had an MRI."

"And?"

"I had a softball sized tumor, in my brain," Gibbs reveals, flatly.

"But, you're ok?"

"No. It was malignant. It's nearly the size of a cantaloupe, now."

"You can't be serious," Tony furrows his brow, in confusion.

"I am."

"Can't it be fixed?"

"It's too late. It's inoperable."

"Chemo?"

"It's growing too fast."

"But..."

"No, no, buts. Today is a happy day. It's his birthday. Go, take him, to her. Be happy. With her, with him, with your family. Don't let me ruin this for you."

"How long do you have?"

"No one knows," he replies. He lifts the baby out of the basinet, and kisses his forehead. He returns him to the basinet, and leave the nursery.


	28. Just A Dream

She opens her eyes, and finds Gibbs sitting in the chair next to her bed. He holds the sleeping baby in his arms. He looks up at her.

"I didn't mean to wake you."

"You didn't."

"He's perfect."

"I think that we're biased," she points out.

"Probably," he agrees.

"I am just glad that he is healthy."

"Still no name?"

"No," she shakes her head, "Do you have an suggestions?"

"No. Whatever you name him will be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"As long as you don't name him after me."

"Fair enough."

The baby begins to squirm. He yawns, and opens his eyes. "Hi, handsome," Gibbs smiles. He gets out of his seat. He stops at Ziva's bedside. He slips the baby into her arms.

"There's your mom."

He turns, to leave. "Oh, Tony went to get breakfast. He'll be back in a few minutes."

"You don't have to leave," Ziva insists.

"I have work to do," he admits.

He leaves the room.

* * *

><p>"Ziva?"<p>

"Yes?" she looks over at him, as they enter the apartment.

"Nothing, never mind."

"Is there something you need to tell me?"

"No, it's nothing."

"Are you sure?"

"Um, I think that you have spit up on your shirt."

She looks down. "Oh, well."

"So can we play the name game, now?"

"No," she sighs.

"You need to name him. I have waited, and waited for you to come up with something. He's here, and he'll be going home soon. He needs to have a name."

She walks into the baby's room. She flips on the light, and puts the diaper bag down on the floor. She puts the baby in the crib. She turns and looks at her partner.

"Go lay down."

"What if I don't hear him?"

"That is why we have a baby monitor."

"I..."

Tony goes into the room, and lifts the sleeping baby out of his crib. He walks past Ziva, towards their bedroom.

"Come on," he insists.

"I can't sleep with him in bed with me. I will smash him."

"Just come on," he insists.

She follows him into the bedroom. He places the sleeping baby into a cradle next to the bed.

"Where did that come from?" she queries.

"Gibbs brought it over. He made it for him."

"It's beautiful," she admits.

"Lay down, and take a nap. I am going to go to the pharmacy, and pick up your prescription. Do you need anything else while I'm out?"

"No."

"I'll only be gone for a little while. If you need me call me."

"I'll be fine."

"Ok," he nods.

When she wakes up she realizes that someone is in the room with her. She rolls over, and looks at the cradle. She finds Gibbs standing next to it, scooping the baby out.

"Go back to sleep," he tells her.

"How did you get in?"

"Tony let me in."

"He's back already?"

"Yeah."

"Gibbs?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"Why, wouldn't I be?"

"Tell me the truth, are you ok?"

"Ziva I'm fine."

"The cradle is beautiful."

"I hope that mahogany is ok. I know that it's what you picked for the rest of his furniture."

"It's perfect, thank you."

"Do you want him?"

"He's probably getting hungry," she reveals.

"Ok," he nods, and places the baby in her arms. He leaves the room.

She stares at her baby. Her perfect baby. From head to toe, he was perfect. Dark hair, big slate blue eyes, a tiny nose, lips like hers. Ten fingers, and ten toes. He was perfect. There was nothing wrong with him. So why did she still have that gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach? What was wrong? Something. But with who? She looks at the little boy, trying to push the feeling away.

His eyes open, and look at her. He was a handsome baby, in his brown puppy dog sleeper, and matching cap. He looks up at her, in anticipation. His facial expression changes. He starts to cry.

"Shh!"

Hours later, when she wakes up she looks over, and finds her son sleeping peacefully in his cradle. She rolls over and looks at Tony. He is still sleeping. She nudges him, with her elbow.

"I'll get him," he answers.

"He's still sleeping."

"What time is it?" he groans.

"0530."

"Why are you awake? Go back to sleep."

"I had a dream."

"That's great, tell me about it later."

"No. I want to tell you about it now."

"Why?"

"Wake up," she insists.


	29. Jonah

"What?"

"I dreamt about a whale."

"So? You have crazy dreams all the time, Ziva."

"A whale," she repeats.

"So?"

"Jonah, and the whale," she answers.

"What about Jonah, and the whale?"

"Jonah."

"What about Jonah?"

She points at the baby, "Jonah."

"Jonah? You want to name him Jonah?"

"Yes."

"Jonah, what?"

"Jonah Parker."

"Ok. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Really? You badgered me for nine months about his name, and now that I have picked one you don't care?"

"Ziva it's early. I want to go back to sleep."

The baby begins to cry. Tony climbs out of bed. He carries the baby into the nursery. He un-swaddles him, and quickly changes his diaper.

0800-

"Something is wrong," Ziva insists.

"With the baby? There is nothing wrong with him. He's sleeping. That is what babies do."

"That's not what I'm talking about."

"What are you talking about?"

"Gibbs hasn't been here this morning."

"He's probably at work."

"He said that he was going to stop by, before work."

"I'll call him."

"I called him an hour ago, he didn't answer."

"What do you want me to do?"

"Stay here with Jonah. I..."

"No. I'll call the director. If he hasn't made it in yet, I'll go to his house," Tony offers.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he nods.

He calls the director on his way out the door. The director tells him exactly what he doesn't want to hear. Tony drives towards Gibbs house. When he arrives he pulls over at the curb in front of his house. The car is barely in park when he gets out. He runs up the sidewalk. He doesn't stop at the door. He opens it, and goes in. He heads straight towards the basement, on instinct. When he reaches the bottom of the stairs he finds Gibbs with his head resting on his workbench. He sits on a stool. Tony takes a deep breath, and approaches him.

"Gibbs?" he says softly. No reply.

"Gibbs?" he says louder.

He stops in front of his boss. In front of his fearless leader. He swallows hard, trying to mentally prepare himself for what he's about to find. He presses two fingers against an artery, checking for a heartbeat. He expects to find none. Instead he finds a weak one. He carefully pulls out his phone, and dials. He gently lowers Gibbs to the floor. He starts CPR, knowing that it's likely futile.

The next moments blur past him. The paramedics arrive. He rides on the ambulance. He sends text messages to Abby, McGee, Ziva, Ducky, and Palmer. Abby is waiting at the emergency room doors when they bring Gibbs through the entrance. She follows him.

Abby, and Tony stand in silence, as the doctors attempt to revive Gibbs. They manage to stabilize his heart rate. They quickly move him to a room in the ICU. Tony and Abby look at each other, but don't say a word. Abby sits on one side of Gibbs, Tony on the other.

Neither of them expect what happens next. Gibbs eye's flutter open. He looks at Abby. She squeezes his hand, and unsuccessfully attempts to hold back her tears.

"I'm sorry," he tells her.

"Gibbs..." she attempts to scold him.

He turns and looks at DiNozzo. Tony looks up at him. He swallows hard. He chokes back the tears.

"Tell her I'm sorry," he insists.

Tony blinks, and then nod in agreement.

"And tell him too," Gibbs adds.

"He has a name. His name is Jonah," Tony informs him.

"Tell Jonah, I'm sorry," Gibbs answers.

"Please, stay," Abby manages to squeak out.

Gibbs squeezes her hand, "I can't."

They hear footsteps coming towards them. McGee enters the room. He surveys the scene.

"What happened?"

Tony points to the empty chair next to him. "Have a seat."

Tim sinks into the chair next to Tony.

"He has a brain tumor," Tony reveals.

"So they're going to fix it?" Tim assumes.

"It's inoperable," Tony responds.

"What are you saying?"

"Gibbs had a aneurysm," Tony answers calmly.

"So, what does that mean?"

"He's dying," Abby answers bluntly.

"Has anyone heard from Ziva? I thought that she'd be here by now," Tony wonders.

McGee replies, "I talked to her when I was pulling in. I asked her if she was on her way."

"And?"

"She said she didn't hear your text. She's on her way now."

"Is it too late to ask for a miracle?" Abby questions.

"I don't know," Tony shrugs.

"How did this happen? He didn't know?"

"He knew," Abby admits.

"Why didn't he tell any of us?"

"He did," Abby adds.

"He did? I was left out of the loop, then, I guess."

"He told me," Abby reveals.

"He told me too. He asked me to make sure that Jonah is taken care of."

"Jonah?" Tim furrows his brow.

"Oh, right, I haven't told you. Ziva finally came up with a name. His name is Jonah Parker."

"Jonah, I like it," Tim admits.

"What do we tell her?" Abby questions.

"She doesn't know?" Tim assumes.

"No," Tony shakes his head.

"Would it be too much to ask for him to just wake up, and tell her?"

"Abby, I don't think that's going to happen," Tim points out.

"But it could. Miracles do happen."

"They do, but, Abby, I think that it's time to let go."

"Where are Ducky, and Palmer?" Tony wonders.

"They had a body that they had to take back to the Navy Yard. They'll be on their way, as soon as they drop it off," Tim answers.


	30. One Choice

She climbs onto the elevator, with a baby in her arms, a diaper bag slung over her shoulder, no make-up on her face, wearing sweats, with a gnawing feeling at the pit of her stomach. The elevator doors close in front of her. She rides the elevator to the third floor. She steps off, and moves towards the nurses station. Without a word, the nurse points to a room, in the corner of the ICU. A room full of people. Her heart sinks when she spots the person lying in the hospital bed. She takes a deep breath, and walks towards his room.

She pushes the door open, and looks around the room. Three faces stare back at her. The fourth doesn't look at her. Abby looks at them, and they leave the room. Ziva sinks into a chair next to the bed. She feels the question building up in her throat, like a hairball. Abby slides into the chair next to him.

"You're probably wondering what happened."

Ziva simply nods.

"Gibbs, has been sick, for a while. He has a brain tumor. He suffered from an aneurysm," she simply states the facts, without her opinions.

"Oh," is all she can manage to get out.

"Ziva, talk to me," Abby begs.

"What would you like me to say?"

"Anything."

"Why wouldn't he tell me?"

"He didn't want you to know."

"Why not? He didn't think that I deserved to know? Did you know?"

"Yes. He never would have known, if not for me. I always have to put my nose where it doesn't belong."

"Abby, what are you talking about?"

"I insisted that he get an MRI."

"Why?"

"I didn't think that he would..." she trails off, "It doesn't matter, now."

"Why didn't he tell me?"

"He didn't want you to know. He didn't want you to be stressed out about it. He thought that it was best, not to tell me."

"Why? So I could be blindsided? How am I supposed to react to his? I have a new baby, and this... right now, this is more than I can handle."

"I know."

"I have a new baby. His baby. Now he's..." her eyes start to tear up.

"Why don't I take Jonah? You can have some time alone, with Gibbs."

"No. It's ok."

"You want me to stay?"

"No. You can go."

"Are you sure?"

"I'll be fine."

"Ok," Abby nods, retreating from the room.

Ziva looks at the shell of a man, lying in the hospital bed. She scoots her chair closer. She looks at his face, and then her eyes drift to the face of the baby, sleeping in her arms. Jonah's eyes flutter open, for a second. Blue eyes. She hopes that they stay that way. Then she can have a piece of him. Maybe it is selfish, but it is all she had. She can never let go. She knows that.

She also knows, that for her son's sake that she would have to try and move on. She would have to keep living, for their son. It was still such an unusual concept. A son. Her son. Her son, with Gibbs. Their son.

She looks at Gibbs. His face is blank. She had seen that face before. She had seen the face of dying men, many times. She knew the truth. He was dying. There was no saving him. No matter how much she prayed. No matter how much faith she borrowed. There was no changing what was. He was dying. She was going to lose him. A pillar of strength in her life. She was going to lose him.

She blinks away tears. She looks away. She wipes her eyes, and looks at her son. A son who was going to grow up, without his father. It wasn't fair. Just as life, often, isn't fair. She looks at Gibbs. She slides her hand, into his. She squeezes it. She takes a deep breath, and begins to speak.

"I know that you're ready to go. I understand that. I know that you know we aren't ready to let you go. I'm not ready to let you go. Jonah needs you. It isn't fair for him, for you to go this way. It isn't fair for him, to never know you. Maybe you don't want to fight anymore. I am sure that you are tired, and you are ready to give up. But it's not ok. You have a son. A son who needs you. He needs you, and you can't just walk out on him. You have to fight, for him. Do this, for him," she pleads.

She carefully unwraps the baby, and places him on Gibbs' chest. She places the blanket over the sleeping baby. She places Gibbs' hand on against his back.

She barely registers the knock on the door. Finally after a few seconds, she looks up. She finds a doctor, standing in the doorway. A young doctor. She waits for him to speak.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

She nods.

"I'm just coming in to check on him."

"Ok," Ziva nods.

"He has a history of comas?"

"Yes. Is there anything that you can do?"

"Surgery is risky."

"Risky? He's already dying. How risky could it be?"

"If that is something you think should be considered, then you should discuss it with his power of attorney."

"I didn't know that he had one."

"What's your name?"

"Ziva David."

"You aren't aware?"

"Aware of what?"

"You're his power of attorney. It's up to you, to make any decision that you see fit. I assume you're his wife?"

"No," she shakes her head.

"Girlfriend."

"No."

"Daughter?"

"No. He is my boss."

"Obviously he trusts you, a great deal."

"What is your opinion?"

"I am not going to sell you false hope. The surgery probably won't work. It will probably kill him. He will most likely die on the operating table."

"Is that supposed to dissuade me? He is going to die, here."

"He could regain consciousness."

"Could. Not for any length of time."

"Why do you want him to have the surgery?"

"Because he has a son."

"Is he on his way? I haven't spoken to him."

She points, "That is his son."

"He has a newborn son?"

"Yes," she nods.

"I'm curious as to why he wouldn't want his child's mother to be the power of attorney."

"I am."

"You are?"

"Yes."

"That's what he was talking about. He said that his poor judgment brought him to the hospital for the MRI. He never elaborated."

"He is a man of few words."

"Do you want to do the surgery?"

"What are the other options?"

"We do nothing, and eventually he dies."

"Or you do something, and there is a miniscule chance, that he doesn't?"

"Precisely. It is a very, small chance. The statistics are not on our side here."

"Just do it."


	31. Day One

She sits in a chair, in a waiting room. She fights off sleep. Jonah sleeps in her arms. Her arms have long ago fallen asleep, from the weight of the baby. She stares at the people around her. Abby is the first to make eye contact. She rises from her seat, and moves towards Ziva. She lifts the carseat, and the diaper bag sitting in front of Ziva, off the ground. She smiles.

"Come on, I'm taking your home."

"But he's not done yet."

"You're going to go home, and get some sleep. You can come back in the morning," Abby insists.

"But..." she attempts to argue.

"Let's go," Abby demands.

"Ok," Ziva concedes, knowing that it's an argument she won't win.

Abby drives her home, and helps her carry Jonah's stuff into the apartment. Abby leaves, to go back to the hospital, leaving Ziva alone with Jonah.

She undresses the baby. She puts a fresh diaper on him, and clean clothes. She places him in his cradle, and heads into the bathroom, for a quick shower. When she returns from the bathroom, she finds that Jonah is wide awake. He stares at her, silently. He doesn't make a sound. He just stares up at her, with big blue eyes.

She scoops him out of the basinet, and holds him closely. He watches her. She kisses his face. She pats him, until he falls back asleep. Once he's sound asleep she returns him to his cradle. She climbs into bed, and eventually she falls to sleep.

0800- Without opening her eyes she realizes that someone else is in the room with her. She hears drawers opening, and closing. She listens for a few seconds. The opening and closing stops. She opens her eyes, and finds that Tony is standing in front of her, with his back to her. He stands over the cradle, with the baby in his arms.

"Is he awake?" she inquires.

He turns around, and looks at her.

"You want him?"

"I know that he's awake. That isn't who I meant."

"No, he's not awake yet," DiNozzo reveals.

"Did you get any sleep last night?"

"No. We waited for them to get done, forever. They finally finished, and sent him to recovery. None of us were allowed to see him, in recovery, so we had to wait some more. Around four o'clock they finally sent him to his room."

"I'm going to go to the hospital."

"Can't you wait? I want to get some sleep."

"Then go to sleep."

"Who is going to take you?"

"I can drive," Ziva reminds him.

"But..."

"You stay here."

"I..."

"With the baby."

"I don't have the right equipment for that," he reminds her.

"There are bottles in the fridge."

"When did you get baby formula?"

"I didn't."

"Oh."

"So will you be alright, if I go?"

"Yes, we'll be fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, momma bear, we will be fine."

"Are you going to change him?"

"Change him? He's a baby. He can wear pajamas all day."

"His diaper."

"Of course I will."

"I mean now."

"Do you want to watch me do it?"

"No, I am going to go get dressed."

"Then why do I have to change it, right now."

"Because you need to."

"It's not full."

"Just change it," she insists.

When she comes out of the closet, after managing to find some clothes she finds Tony tying a plastic bag up.

"You were right, it was full," he tells her.

"I'm leaving. I'll see you later."

"What, I don't even get a kiss?"

She kisses him, and then kisses Jonah.

"Love you, bye," Tony calls after her, as she leaves the room.

"Love you, too," she answers.

"Love you more," he replies.

"I heard that," she calls from the other room.

Tony looks at the little guy in his arms. "You have to be very careful what you say Jonah, your mommy has ninja hearing."

"I heard that too," she adds, as she opens the door, to leave the apartment.

Tony rolls his eyes. He hears the door close. He looks at Jonah, who is wide awake.

"So little man, what are we going to do, today?"

Jonah closes his eyes.

"You want to nap? That sounds like a splendid idea, mind if I join you? Not in your basinet, of course, we can't both fit in there. I'll sleep in the bed. Sound like a plan?"

He places Jonah back into the basinet. He climbs into bed, and closes his eyes. He falls asleep rather quickly.

Hours later he awakens to a fussy baby. He opens his eyes, and sits up, in bed. He climbs out of bed, and wonders over to Jonah. Without a second thought he proceeds to change the baby's diaper. He then heads for the kitchen, and grabs a bottle.

He turns some coffee on while he warms up Jonah's bottle. He stands in the kitchen, watching the baby, as he drinks his bottle.

"So, are you going to have ninja hearing too? And impeccable timing too, I'm sure."

Jonah ignores him, and focuses on eating his bottle.

"And because you're around me, you'll be able to tune everything out, when you eat, won't you?"


	32. Prognosis

She comes into the hospital, with a heavy heart. She tries her hardest to push aside the doubt she is feeling, and instead focus on the faith that she has. She enters the ICU bay, and finds him right where she left him. There is a bandage around his head now. A machine breathes for him. Abby sits at his bedside, holding his hand. Before either of them can say a word a doctor walks into the room. Ziva's eyes meet his.

"The surgery went better than I expected," the doctor admits.

"He is still here," Ziva points out.

"We didn't expect him to make it through the surgery."

"You don't know him very well. He does things on his own terms," Ziva reveals.

"We were able to remove the brain tumor, and clip the aneurysm. There is no telling what lasting neurological effects it will have. The first seventy two hours are the most crucial. He is on the ventilator until he learns how to breathe again. We don't know what else will be effected, if, and when he wakes up."

"And the tumor is completely gone?"

"We were able to remove all of it. Luckily it was encapsulated. And, by some miracle it wasn't nearly as large as we had anticipated. It was closer to the size of a golf ball. We did a round of preoperative chemotherapy. We will continue to do chemo for a few weeks to make sure that we got all of the tumor cells," the doctor explains.

"You still don't expect him to live do you?" Ziva asks, bluntly.

"The survival rate of the surgery for a tumor as large as the one he has for is less than fifteen percent," he answers honestly.

"That is better than zero."

"Do you have any other questions?"

"No," Ziva shakes her head.

The doctor leaves the room. Ziva pulls up a chair, beside Abby. She looks over at the scientist who wears dark circles under her eyes.

"Abby," she says softly, "Go home. Get some rest. I will call you if anything changes."

"But..."

"He would want you to get some rest," Ziva insists.

"Ok," she nods, conceding to Ziva.

Ziva sits in the hospital, next to his bed, holding his hand. She watches as his chest rises, and falls with the assistance of a mechanical ventilator. She stays there, until Tim arrives, and relieves her of her post.

* * *

><p>When she gets to her apartment she finds Tony passed out on her couch, with a baby asleep on his chest. She reaches for the baby, and Tony's hand's wrap around him, tighter. She gently touches Tony's hand.<p>

She whispers, "Tony, it's me."

His eyes open, briefly, and his grip loosens. She slides the baby off his chest, into her arms. She takes him into the other room. She watches him, as he sleeps. His expression reminds her of Gibbs. She does her best not to cry. She takes a deep breath, and Jonah opens his eyes. He furrows his brow, and starts to whimper. She looks at her watch, and realizes that it is time to feed him.

* * *

><p>Tony takes the nightshift, at Gibb's bedside. He watches as the nurses come and go. IV fluid is hung, and emptied. The ventilator makes Gibb's chest rise, and fall.<p>

"Look boss, I know what you said. I have no problem being a father to Jonah. He's already got me wrapped around his finger, but it would be a travesty if he never got to know you. I'm not asking for forever. I am just asking you for a little more time, for him. Just until he's old enough to have memories of you."

He's been there nearly an hour, when someone else joins him. He looks at the grey, older gentleman as he walks into the room. Jackson takes a seat next to him.

"How did you get here?"

"I took a plane, and then a cab," Jackson answers.

"Who called you?"

"Abby. She said that she knew he would be pissed, but it was too bad."

"She told you what was going on?"

"I only wish that I had known sooner. My son takes after me though, he's too stubborn for his own good."

"Did Abby tell you the good news?"

"She said he made it through the surgery, which was more than the doctor's expected."

Tony's lips curl into a smile, "The other good news."

"What other news?"

"Abby didn't tell you how he found out that he had a brain tumor?"

"No."

"He was having impaired judgment. Abby made him get an MRI."

"What did he do?"

"He slept with Ziva."

"How is that good news?"

Tony pulls out his phone. He stares at the screen saver for a moment, and the turns to Jackson, "Because you're a grandfather again," he hands him the phone.

Jackson looks at the picture of the newborn boy, sleeping in his crib.

"What do you mean?" Jackson questions.

"Ziva got pregnant. That little guy is your grandson."

"My grandson?"

"His names is Jonah. He's incredible."

"Gibbs is the father?"

"Yeah," Tony nods in confirmation.

When Ziva arrives in the morning, she has Jonah in her arms. Tony is sound asleep, while Jackson sits in a chair, reading the newspaper, and drinking coffee.

"Any change?" Ziva asks.

Jackson puts the paper down, and looks at her, "No. He's still the same."

"I didn't know you were coming," Ziva admits.

"I hear congratulations are in order."

"Tony told you the whole story?"

"Yeah."

"Would you like to hold him?"

"Yeah," he nods.

Ziva carefully places the newborn in his arms. "This is Jonah."

Jackson stares at the sleeping baby. His lips crawl into a smile.

"He's an awfully handsome devil."

"We think so too."Jackson looks at the baby, "Hi, Jonah. I know look like an old fart, but I'm your grandpa."

"Jackson I am sure that you had a long trip, why don't you let Tony drop you off at Gibbs? The two of you can get some sleep. I'll be here for a while. I am sure Abby will be in, later, too."

"Ok," he nods, in agreement.


	33. Leaving

The days pass, and not much progress is made. Eventually Gibbs is able to be weaned off the ventilator, and breathe on his own. It has been two weeks since his surgery, and faith is wearing thin. Ziva sits at his bedside, as per her usual morning routine. Jonah sleeps in her arms. Her eyes are heavy, and her arms are asleep. She lifts the baby onto Gibb's chest. She places his hands on the baby. She closes her eyes, as Jonah sleeps on his chest.

"I want you to know that Tony has really surprised me. He is so good with Jonah. I know you saw something that I wasn't entirely sure of. I just wish that you would see it. I wish Jonah had the chance to get to know you."

She opens her eyes, and looks at Gibbs, with the hopes that something has changed. Nothing has. She watches her son, as he sleeps. She smiles, and begins talking to him.

"Jonah this is your dad. I know that you are too young to understand any of this, but you still need to hear it. Your being here is a miracle. I know that you're not going to remember any of this. I just wish you got to hear his voice."

She chokes up. She swallows hard, and wipes the tears away with her sleeve. She looks at the clock on the wall. It reminds her that the next shift will be here in the next half an hour. She stands up, and reaches down. She goes to move Gibb's hand off Jonah. He grips her wrist. She writes it off as a reflex. She attempts to remove his fingers from her wrist, but she can't. She looks at his other hand. For a moment it seems as if his grip on the baby is tightening. She reminds herself that it isn't possible.

"Gibbs let go," she says in frustration.

His hand lets go of her wrist. It returns to it's resting place on Jonah's back. Ziva furrows her brow, and looks up at Gibbs. His blue eyes stare at her. She tries to tell herself that she is imagining things.

"Jonah," he whispers. The baby stirs in his sleep. Ziva nearly passes out. She stands in front of his bed, frozen. She grips the rail of the bed.

"Gibbs?" her dark eyes watch him, questioningly.

His blue eyes don't meet her gaze. Instead, they fall to the infant lying on his chest. He stares at the baby. His hand rests, protectively, on Jonah's back. "Jonah," he repeats.

Ziva presses the call button. The nurse comes into the room. She looks at Ziva.

"Do you need something?" she questions.

Ziva simply nods. She can't seem to get any words out, so she just points to Gibbs.

The nurse approaches him. She looks into his bright blue eyes.

"Agent Gibbs?"

He manages to smile. He looks at his son, "Jonah."

* * *

><p>Abby gets on the elevator. She is on her way to the hospital, after Ziva's call. The elevator door opens. She gets off, to tell McGee. She races towards his desk. She furrows her brow, finding Tony at his desk too. Tony just smiles at her. She moves towards McGee's desk.<p>

"McGee, I have something to tell you."

"I already know," he points out.

"Ziva called you?"

He shakes his head, and points to the desk across from him. She spins around, and finds that Gibbs' chair is not vacant. Instead she finds him sitting in the chair, with gauze wrapped around his head. He sits in the chair with a smirk on his face, and a little boy in his arms. Jonah sleeps, with his ear pressed against Gibbs' chair. A smile creeps across Abby's face. She moves forward to hug him. She realizes that she can't since he has Jonah.

"What are you doing here?"

"You mean what am I doing alive?"

"No, I knew you would pull through," she insists, "What are you doing here?"

"The hospital released me."

"When?"

"About an hour ago."

"And you're already at work?"

"I'm not working, I'm just here to see you."

"You're ok?"

He shrugs, "Aside from a few holes in my head I'm fine."

"Where is Ziva?" Abby wonders.

"She went to get lunch."

"When did you wake up?"

"Three days ago," he answers.

"I have been at the hospital everyday."

He smirks, "I know."

"Why didn't you say anything? You pretended to be unconscious."

"I was sleeping," he points out.

She turns to Tony, "Did you know?"

"Ziva told me three days ago, when he woke up."

She looks at McGee, "McGee?"

"I was sworn to secrecy."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We thought it would be a nice surprise. We didn't want you to worry," McGee explains.

"I was worried sick, every single day."

Tony adds, "And we wanted to make sure that he was going to stay conscious."

"I was so worried about you," she points out, looking at Gibbs.

"I know."

"Why did you wait so long to wake up?" she questions him.

"I didn't have any control over it."

"Are you sure that you're ok?" she queries.

"I'm fine."

"You're going to take it easy, right?"

"Abby I'm not coming back to work," he admits.

Her smile quickly disappears, "What? Why not?"

"I am going to retire. I think that it is time."

"You never stay retired," she points out.

"Because all I had to do, before was build a boat."

"But," she tries to argue.

"Someone has to watch Jonah while Tony, and Ziva are here," he adds.

"You're going to be a stay at home dad?" Abby furrows her brow, "What has the world come to? First you sleep with Ziva, and get her pregnant. And, now you're going to stay at home with the baby?"

"Yeah," he smiles.

Abby looks at the baby, who sleeps peacefully. "I can understand why. He is pretty awesome."

"You know why he woke up, don't you?" McGee quizzes Abby.

She shakes her head.

"Lying there, unconscious, in a coma he suddenly realized that someone was going to have to teach Jonah to fish, and we all know it isn't going to be Tony. Tony could teach him how to play football, or flirt with a woman, but fishing is not in his skill set. And, we all know Tony can't build a boat."

Tony furrows his brow, "I built a boat once."

"It was a model, and I don't think you finished it," McGee jabs.


	34. Crybaby

She gets out of the passenger's seat of the vehicle. She slides open the door of the van. Tony pops out of the backseat. She rolls her eyes. A little boy comes out of the seat next to him. The driver of the vehicle climbs out. Jonah looks up at the two men. Ziva climbs into the third row of the vehicle. She unfastens the car seat in the back. The eighteen month old little girl leaps into her arms. She steps out of the van with the hazel eyed little girl with dark curls. Tony secures the Batman backpack on his son. Ziva kisses his cheek. Gibbs smiles at the little boy. He's got dark curly brown hair, and a pair of slate blue eyes. He wears a t-shirt with a picture of a boat on it. He wears a pair of blue shorts to match his navy blue t-shirt. Gibbs squats next to him.

"Who do you want to walk you in?"

The four year old looks at the crowd. Tony smiles at him. Gibbs squats next to him, waiting patiently. Ziva holds a squirmy toddler in her arms. The little girl reaches for Tony. Ziva lets her out of her arms, she lands on Tony's hip. He smiles widely.

"Mommy."

Ziva smiles, and reaches for his hand. They leave the van and walk towards the preschool class room. Ziva stops in the doorway of the classroom, after entering the building. She looks at her little boy.

"I love you."

"I love you too," he hugs her.

She kisses his cheek. "Jonah can I ask you something?"

"Yes," he nods.

"Why did you want me to walk you in?"

"I didn't want to have to pick between them. One of them would have been sad," he explains.

"I see. That is very thoughtful of you son."

"And, I only have one mommy," he points out.

"Have a good day."

"Okay. Who is picking me up?"

"Who do you want to pick you up?"

"I'm s'posed to go fishing after school," he reminds her.

"You are supposed to go fishing after school?"

"Yes ma'am," he nods.

"Then I will have Gibbs pick you up."

"Ok, but tomorrow I'm supposed to play baseball."

"You want Tony to pick you up tomorrow?"

"How did I get two dads?"

She shakes her head, "I guess that you must be a lucky boy."

"I should go."

"Ok," she nods, as he walks into the classroom.

When she reaches the van the baby is in her car seat. Gibbs is in the driver's seat, and Tony sits in the back with the baby. She climbs into the second row, and closes the door.

"What did he say?" Tony questions.

"He wants Gibbs to pick him up today," she reveals.

"Oh," Tony responds sounding heart broken.

"But he wants you to pick him up tomorrow."

"We're supposed to play baseball."

"Then I will pick up Isabella from daycare tomorrow."

"Does it ever occur to either of you how dysfunctional we are?" Tony wonders.

Ziva looks up at Gibbs, "No it has always felt like a family to me," Ziva admits.

* * *

><p>Gibbs drops Ziva, and Tony off at the office. He parks the Honda van in the parking lot, and grabs his car. As he pulls out of the parking space he glances in the rearview mirror at the booster seat in the middle of the backseat of his classic American muscle car. He grins as he stops at the stop sign.<p>

Tony and Ziva enter the squad room after another tearful goodbye at the daycare center downstairs. McGee looks up from his desk.

"You guys actually made it six minutes early today what happened?" McGee questions.

Ziva smiles at her husband, who sits across the room from her, "I handed him a tissue and told him to suck it up. He is a grown man, he shouldn't cry every time that we drop her off at daycare. I mean she is a year and a half old. Enough is enough."

"Did he cry at preschool drop off?" McGee wonders.

"He sat in the back of the van with a box of tissues."

Tony speaks up, "I wasn't crying. It was my allergies."

"Your allergies? To what dropping the kids off?" McGee responds.

"You know Isabella laughs at him now, when he starts to cry," Ziva smirks in satisfaction.

"My daughter called me a crybaby this morning," Tony adds.

McGee looks at Ziva wondering if this is another one of Tony's wild exaggerations, "Really?"

"I told her to tell him he was being a cry baby. I didn't know she would actually call him that," Ziva explains.

"My little girl stood there, and pointed at me. She looked so cute, and innocent with her little pink dress, and headband on. And then she smiled and said, 'Crybaby'."

"Tony suck it up," McGee insists.

"You will understand one day soon enough," Tony replies.

"What is that supposed to mean?" McGee furrows his brow.

Ziva shoots Tony a look. "What?" Tony furrows his brow.

"Shh!"

"Why are you shhing him? Is there something that I should know?"

"Maybe you should ask your wife," Tony answers.

"Ask her what? What are you talking about Tony?"

"I have said too much."

McGee vacates his seat. He heads to the elevator. He rides the elevator down to the lab. He finds Abby sitting in front of her computer.

"Hey," she turns around and looks at him, "What are you doing down here?"

"I'm your husband," he reminds her.

"I just saw you ten minutes ago," she reminds him, "We rode to work together."

"I wanted to talk to you," he reveals.

"About what?"

"Something Tony said."

"He says a lot of things."

"Isabella called him a crybaby today, and I told him to suck it up."

"She is so much like Ziva, I love it," Abby responds.

"And he said that I would know what it was like soon enough. What did he mean by that? Does he know something that I don't?"

"Tim..." she trails off.

"Abby?"

"Yes."

"Yes? He knows something that I don't?"

"I wanted to find the perfect way to tell you. We have barely been married for six months, and I just wanted to wait for the right time. I know that you said you wanted to wait a while, and..."

"Abby just spit it out!"

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

><p>He pulls into the driveway, and opens the door. A four year old climbs out of the backseat. Gibbs grabs the fishing poles out of the trunk. He looks at the cabin in front of him, and the boy waiting for him. Jonah smiles up at him, as he adjusts his hat.<p>

"You ready son?"

"Do you think I can catch a whale?" he jokes.

Gibbs smiles, "Were you hoping to be swallowed by one today?"

"That would be a good story," he grins.

"Yeah, I guess it would."

"Did you remember the bait?"

"Jonah I brought you, that is all the bait I need for a whale," he smiles.

"For the fish," Jonah clarifies.

"I've got some to catch them with too."

Jonah shoves his hand into Gibbs. They head down the dirt path towards the pond. Gibbs carries a couple of fishing poles, and a tackle box in his spare hand. Jonah carries a pint sized tackle box in his.


End file.
